Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
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Top comments
BellTink 0
well....did you?
lmfp 0
A) how would she know? B) how is that even possible?
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Comments (59)
BuMbLeBeE_46 0
oh i love your mom
whiteboy77 0
but chuck Norris' bones don't break?
maddybaddy 0
You must have some messed up techniques if you broke your wrist...lol whoa. Hahaha
cmac86 24
dude, take it easy- nice and soft man, you dint want to break it. I wish I could say the latter for your wrist.
xxbaxter310xx 0
I'm surprised you didn't break your **** first
WhyworldWhy 0
did you?
whoeffincares 0
your mom rocks
DynamicDave 11
Lmfao @ 28 and 32!!! @OP: Your mom is a legend
youngboss_fml 2
damn u go hard
Kristie_2009 0
I wish my mom was like that...
Compass 0
Is it true? You should't lie to the doctor anyways. They can treat you for something else. How the **** did you break your wrist masturbating? My sister has *fractured* it falling on it on concrete at an awkward angle. You must jerk it like you can't even feel anything.
Shafreeka 8
A "fracture" and a "break" are the same thing. The differences are the degree of the break and so on, such as if it is a "complete" break all the way though the bone or a "hairline" and is just a crack in the bone (which most people think is what a fracture is). A "Break" is a average joe term, and "fracture" is the true medical terminology. Sorry for the rant. That is all.