Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML
Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Solid logic, that. He's making great strides in the theory of hygiene.
tin_cup 27
No high-fives with him.
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Comments (80)
gentleman54 8
What a crappy thing to do
Stephencharis 14
oh myyyy! not when I am eating....
krazy789 28
Hey @gentleman54 i guess you're new here. We avoid the "shitty" and "crappy" puns.
milehigh52 22
#35 No we don't. There is a few comments like that on every FML that has to do with shit. However, people do down vote the hell out of it. But it doesn't seem to matter. Those comments seem inevitable.
beef_weezle 13
Slow clap
kayposion 17
Or maybe his favourite colour is brown?
Bluedy 17
DEM JOKES!
unsealingkale 18
You didn't even try
Welshite 40
Solid logic, that. He's making great strides in the theory of hygiene.
isnobodyhere 32
Oh goodness...
toastbrot 9
Yuk.
kayayye 22
that's gross. how old is your cousin?
arielmr116 18
The fml does say "little cousin". Here's hoping he's under the age of 5 and doesn't know better
moodyreallyrocks 27
Needs a lesson in hygiene and sanitation..
whysojealous 18
Unfortunately, I've met lots of children who try to justify not washing hands so you arn't alone OP -_-
tin_cup 27
No high-fives with him.
milehigh52 22
Why not? His hands are clean. His ass however, well that's a different story.
nash1991 20
Stories like these make me wonder why I'm in medical school at all. If everyone follows impeccable logic like this kid, I'll be outta patients in no time.
tantanpanda 26
You'll still get patients either way, from people with skin infections to people in the ER because of their fantastic logic.