Kids: Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing...

By ptarr12345 - 14/05/2015 04:26 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 120

You deserved it 6 741

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Humblebrag?

By P…… - 31/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 438

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 11:06 - United States

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 786

You deserved it 60 993

By lynn777 - 04/04/2011 20:42 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 281

You deserved it 22 348

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 209

You deserved it 13 719

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 126

You deserved it 13 652

By spaaaarta - 25/07/2016 20:17

Today, I was washing my car, and I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 695

You deserved it 12 529

Well Well Well

By no good deed... etc - 16/10/2017 04:30

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 933

You deserved it 401

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 984

You deserved it 3 869

Charity

By fail - 26/04/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I worked a carwash as a fundraiser. Being nice, I figured I'd bring my car, get it washed, and donate some money. When it was my car's turn to be washed, everyone was conveniently busy washing other cars. My car was in front and needed to be washed and moved. I paid $10 to wash my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 734

You deserved it 11 449

By Anonymous - 07/05/2015 15:45 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 689

You deserved it 7 188

Shadowvoid 33

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

Just accept that he has a wonderful sense of humor.

Liamj774 36

Friday 15 May 2015 0:08

You should say never mind I'll get it. And the. Spray him

Comments

Liamj774 36

Friday 15 May 2015 0:08

You should say never mind I'll get it. And the. Spray him

wtffml1979 22

Friday 15 May 2015 1:41

Kids are honest and doing what their told.

Shadowvoid 33

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

Just accept that he has a wonderful sense of humor.

pleasedie 22

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

Well at least you're clean now..... Maybe ?

kibster9 20

Friday 15 May 2015 0:43

Like Deez Nutz

shemademedoit 20

Friday 15 May 2015 3:13

looks like both of you are dirty.

thatguynamedsky 32

Friday 15 May 2015 15:42

moo im a cow ?

ezrajab 22

Friday 15 May 2015 0:11

Kids got a sense of humor I like it!

Awesomeaxel 24

Friday 15 May 2015 0:13

1 bonus point goes to your cousin. That is pretty funny though

davek 36

Friday 15 May 2015 0:15

Apply cold water to burned area. Oh wait...

MegasaurusRex89 28

Friday 15 May 2015 0:16

He saw an opportunity and took it. You can't blame him for that! :D

irish_lad 16

Friday 15 May 2015 0:20

That doesn't mean your ugly or anything. I would do that to my wife and she hot asf

Kitty_Kat44 31

Friday 15 May 2015 0:21

Well at least your clean now.

Kitty_Kat44 31

Friday 15 May 2015 0:29

Whoops. Didn't see that number 3 has already said this.

Kobeh 13

Friday 15 May 2015 0:23

Well hopefully it was all in good fun, if not then you should try to show him what is and isn't appropriate to do

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Birthday Abuse Money Scams Social Media Education School Kids Parents Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Family Fight Customers Gross Work

The Top

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 61

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 760

The Top

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 000

You deserved it 4 421

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 285

You deserved it 7 959

Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 342

You deserved it 6 130

Today, while talking with my sister about why she and her husband never want kids, my own kids kicked a football into the kitchen cabinet, breaking the very bottom shelf, and tipping every plate, dish, and bowl to smash on the floor. My sister just gave me that look, the look that says, “Duh!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 628

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 4 901

Today, my wife wants a divorce. Apparently, she only married me for my potential, since my twin brother is a lawyer, she hoped I’d become a success as well, but since I’m content to be a carpenter, she considers me a disappointment and a failure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 157

Same thing different taste

Humblebrag?

Well Well Well

Sneaky boy

Charity

Top comments

Comments