Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML
Today, I overheard my husband admitting that he doesn’t wash his hands after having diarrhea. I had no prior knowledge of this. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Solid logic, that. He's making great strides in the theory of hygiene.
tin_cup 27
No high-fives with him.
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Comments (80)
ezrajab 22
Not going to lie that's kind of gross
LyricaSilvan 30
Ah, small children. So adorably sure of their weird logic. Don't worry, OP. He'll grow out of ideas like that, and in the meantime you can try to encourage him to wash his hands and wipe properly. Maybe get some wet wipes to make things easier.
HylianBadger 21
Dare him to moon someone. Maybe then his parents will teach him that personal hygiene isn't limited to his hands.
Selene1090 26
Uh, wouldn't it be uncomfortable? And cause sores or whatever?? Maybe an infection? I honestly don't know, but those are my first thoughts. That can't be healthy...
LyricaSilvan 30
I work with elderly people (I'm a CNA) and I can confirm that yes, it absolutely does! When urine or feces are left on the skin like that, it not only causes irritation, but can strip the skin and cause sores, infection, urinary infections, etc.
OrganicSistah 17
And now he needs to wash his ass
mswim 27
I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
Broke_girl_25 3
Well, technically, if you don't touch his ass, you'll be fine?
randommanwill 11
Skid marks for days. I can't imagine how much it itches...
laden_swallow09 35
Hope he enjoys his new hemorrhoids and outlandish clothes detergent spending.
BloodyGlass 10
You better inform a parent or guardian of this kid before his asshole becomes septic from infection. And yes, he still needs to wash his hands, whether he urinated or voided his bowels.