First class slob

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

Goldfinger

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

Worst life hack ever

Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML

Gross out

Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML

Keep it clean

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML