We're bad at this

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 20:24 - United States - Chandler

Spicy
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 472
You deserved it 12 043
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Top comments

everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

311 2

Comments

MiracleJuice 9

In my opinion when girls drink, they are up for more in the bedroom then they usually would be. You never know this girl might just always have sex like this because no one ever told her any different!

7 0
mikaellikestacos 14

It bugs me that it's wrong grammar

0 5
tjsautop 3

Actually, it's NOT bad grammar. Call me presumptuous, but I'm guessing you're talking about his use of "lay." Let me explain: Lie = to lie down. As in, "She lies down to take a nap." Lay = to lay something down. As in, "She lays down the baby so he can take a nap." However, "lay" is also the past-tense form of "lie." So you would say, "He lay down to take a nap yesterday," and it's perfectly correct. So, just for review: "She just laid there like a corpse the whole time." = Incorrect! "She just lay there like a corpse the whole time." = Correct! Therefore, there is nothing wrong with OP's grammar.

2 0
thundermoo 16

I don't get this. Why didn't you just switch positions? Have her get on top...it's impossible for her to "just lay there" from that position (and many others).

5 1
Steephx0 23

Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's good.

5 2
Queen_of_Night 20

I guess the old saying "Even bad sex is good sex." just met it's match. I find this kind of funny. As an asexual, sex just plain sucks. I feel for the girl!

3 3
siggy_mcsigx 22

Maybe she was drunk and/or high and could barely function in the first place?

4 1
anyoldnamewilldo 23

You wouldn't have to worry about explaining lack of semen....as well as avoiding STDs...if you used a condom. If you don't use condoms when you pick up a rando at a club, bad sex is not the worst thing that can happen. YDI just for your irresponsibility.

7 2
Migole 36

But it never said he didn't use a condom? You know you can see if there's semen in the condom or not, right?

3 0
drmisin 5

Why in the blue hell would he show her the used nasty condom.

1 1
withasmile 3

Maybe she was bored? There isn't a huge amount of feeling vaginally, so good sex for girls involve a lot of foreplay both mental and physical. You can mix it up yourself you know. Switch positions, switch speeds, slow is often better than fast, do some foreplay, talk dirty to her, ask her "do you like it when I do....?"I'm not saying she's not responsible for her own self though. But I wouldn't be surprised if she is probably inexperienced, or inhibited and could use some 'coaching' on how to be a better lover. Just don't ever be a jerk about it - good way to guarantee to ruin future sex.

7 1
missbhayv 4

Oh honey welcome to the world of us girls

2 2