By Perdito_Coño - 05/09/2014 20:55 - Australia - Quakers Hill

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 747
You deserved it 7 614

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sorry OP. Maybe she wasn't worth it then

RedCityScapes 5

She denied moaning? You both have ears- that was a dumb excuse. She may have been embarrassed, but that was an overreaction on her part.


Sorry, don't think about it too much. There's always another time, maybe another female.

Just another episode of 'Angry House Wives'

Wow a whole section of down votes. Pathetic.

Sorry OP. Maybe she wasn't worth it then

tazmanmike2013 17

I agree with you and don't know why you're being down voted.

littleteapot 21

Maybe she had only watched **** and thought that was what its supposed to be like because the girls in **** pretty much moan when the guy blinks his eyes. Also, she could have been embarrassed by killing a boner during her (possibly) 1st sexual experience and reacted the wrong way.

Maybe she was so excited that she didn't even pay attention to the noises she was making. Then OP scared her for life and now everytime she'll be having sex she'll be trying to avoid making any noises. Good job OP you probably traumatized your girlfriend.

colton_colton 49

So are you two still virgins or..?

drunkmunkey 24

the anticipation plays tricks on your mind... maybe she's a faker too and hated getting called on it. fyl OP, it'll happen for ya

I couldn't enjoy that, I wouldn't have even tried to continue. I probably would have gotten dressed and left, even if it was my house.

#54 how do you agree? He was talking about the fake moaning from the girl, unless of course you're a lesbian If so then just ignore me

She might just be agreeing that it's stupid for a girl to fake it. I know I can agree with that.

Corvo_Attano_4 12

I think you both overreacted. It's ok for a girl to moan ahead of time but I don't think she should have left over your comment.

Moan about what? If he's not doing anything and she starts moaning I can understand why it would be a complete turn off. Not only that but she could be a faker if she's moaning before anythings even started

Since when is a woman's pleasure directly connected to the guys penis? The mind is a powerful thing and women have wet dreams and fantasies just like men. As someone who genuinely makes a lot of noise in bed this pisses me off, sometimes moans come out simply because you're looking at them, appreciating their body and the way they're touching you or looking at you and you just moan out of excitement. Sure maybe she was faking, but just a little insight into a different kind of sexual response for those who can't see this being a normal thing.

squideth 18

Thank you 47. This is exactly why I voted YDI. I mean, it's one thing to lose your boner, but he put this girl on the spot, possibly embarrassed her, and is surprised she left? Heaven forbid a woman is vocal without your dick in her.

#63, I'd imagine some sort of small moan that slips the lips would have been fine for OP but they described it as pornstar moaning which everyone knows sounds horrifically fake. Like #47 said moaning before any actual activity has happened is quite common but I'd describe it more of a "whimper" (not the crying kind, that'd be weird) or a "delicate moan" that almost accidentally comes out. Fake moans are a turn off and just sound too "staged".

gemstone586 12

We're talking about a virgin here. Would he really know if it was a real moan or fake moan?? I completely agree with #47 and I am inclined to believe OP sabotaged himself.....

#47 He said "fake moaning like a pornstar" have you ever heard a pornstar moan? I mean sure what you said is true but that would be a slight moan or something more subtle not some load moan before it even starts. My girlfriend tends to moan in anticipation but its only slightly not what OP is talking about and if you start moaning like a pornstar before he even does anything it could embarrass him as much as loosing the boner embarrassed his girl, it might make him feel obsolete, as if he's not needed and that would kill a boner

RedCityScapes 5

She denied moaning? You both have ears- that was a dumb excuse. She may have been embarrassed, but that was an overreaction on her part.

Next time you get ready to do it pretend you already came early and see how she responds.

Or she was just really turned on and actually moaning. Smooth move, costello.

Moaning to something not even inside of her? It's kind of hard to gain pleasure from nothing.

Foreplay is enough for many people to start moaning. Maybe OPs girlfriend just got embarrassed though.

What 18 said. All the original post says is that he hadn't entered her yet, not that he was sitting there playing cards. If they were in the middle of foreplay, moaning is pretty normal.

jjones0818 12

#11 Must not be use to any foreplay. Hell if your good you should get her to the point before you put it in.

If she's a virgin too, and watched some **** beforehand, she probably just thought she was doing the right thing and was embarrassed when you called her out on it.

She moaned like a PORNSTAR, which means loud as ****. I doubt you'll be screaming without anything inside.

My condolences on the amazing sex you've never had, 78.

I'm pretty sure if he was doing foreplay he wouldn't have understood the fact that she was moaning and wouldn't have posted this FML

at least you can tell your friends that you got her to moan like a pornstar