Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
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Top comments
robhammer 0
Don't lie u were violently masturbating
deadsrs 0
This is exactly why I sleep naked... ladies.
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Comments (141)
coolster56 0
Idiot but you don't really deserve it and FIRST
TehFuzzyOne 0
Lol. Epic.
YeahFMLxX 0
-.- you fail. like epic fail, as in the "running out of lowes only to fall over the hot dog vendor" fail..
DavidCooksAngel 0
the same thing sorta happen to my friend. except she found a pair of ladies thongs in her bf car. thought he was cheating, turns out he has been buying ladies undies/thongs and wearing them. he also confess to stealing hers and her sisters thongs. fyl fhl fmfl
Freeze_fml 17
^ lol wrong FML.
Bugatti_Veyron 1
NO NO NO! WRONG! it's "nobody likes roasted nuts!"
DavidCooksAngel 0
opps! indeed it is. lol
reyemrein 0
wow. Somebody needs to get laid...
jf7609 0
Not sure how you did that but... FYL
Pball11 0
How did you manage to do that?
fmlsoobad 0
WTF 44 haha
Raiden353 0
@43. There's a hot dog vendor at your lowes? Epic!
majones 0
This guy is as stupid as Plaxico Burress. Today, I shot myself. FML.
TempestJones 0
LMAO at robhammer's comment!!!! I was TOTALLY thinking the same thing... Just be more gentle when "Turning Japanese." Lols... Epic fail OP... Epic fail...
DarkRadiance1UP 0
how the **** can you "acidently" punch your self in the giggleberries?
nolasaints 0
well your a spaz
samantha_durano 6
giggleberries, lol.
albinomustang 0
YDI for reacting that way, spaz.
comatoast 0
YDI for being a spazoid
cookiemobzta 0
#44WTF George Lopez!!!
allen20 0
fake
trizzieb 0
I can clearly see your nuts.
sc95060sc 0
soooo fake
Str3amingcolors 0
All the way.
emmierazzie 0
u totally coped that. I saw that a week ago.
flakes_fml 0
lool last three words are that what he said!
Ninja666_fml 0
I once did that when I was about to fall off my bed. it hurts. so much...
cowmeleon 2
there's one at mine too and they have lemonade too :D
stonercircle 0
ugly ass veyron.
Jrook 0
good lord I feel sorry for whoever has (or attempts to) f**k you
jman246 0
not funny and **** that must have hurt check that out
abusyboy93 0
wow lol calm urself
hockeystud19 1
loser
rhanana 0
I agree. How do you even do that...
V4ZQU3Z 0
Is Sparta
deadsrs 0
This is exactly why I sleep naked... ladies.
afatmonkey 0
because you enjoy having no cusion when you punch yourself in the nuts?
jacobsessed 0
and that helps you how?
Shokz992 0
Did you happen to get the "...ladies" bit from a certain comedian I can't remember the name of? :/ You'll know what I'm talking about if I'm right... :D
zZPedobearZz 0
oh yes cause we all follow random comedians... i say this and i have no vlue what ur talking about
im2good25 0
LOL@#4
Resquall 0
@37 Lol, I love that guy... ladies. Hold up. That isn't quite right.
ndiesal 0
I bet that woke you up
bridgette5866 0
No, really? Can't imagine that it would have. Any normal person would sleep through that shit.
killerkurt 0
^ win.
jellybean120 10
Lol!
HoesInaBox 0
The possibility that you kneed AND punched yourself is pretty unlikely o_O OP, my friend, you are a spaz. :)
deadsrs 0
Hey man don't underestimate the power of blankets... they are sly bastards.
HoesInaBox 0
True, true. I'm a girl though. Don't be fooled by the name ;]
doink 0
Especially blankets with sleeves..
deadsrs 0
I used man as a generality. Like "dude you have nice ****"
CleanSheets 0
snuggies are pure evil
manbearpig123456 0
i f*ckin hate snuggies
Resquall 0
Snuggies are poor, abandoned blankets that decided to become crappy robes.
purplemnm 9
stupid blanket trannies
cadillackitty 0
blankets too confusing? get a snuggy
arielhoee 9
Snuggies are the spawn of Satan. ;~;
lonewolfxxx 0
then that must mean my aunt is the devil.
sicpupyz122 0
WTF suggies suck platypus shit!
htownlove 0
attack of the blankets! oh no!
Zills 0
you'll wake up with your arms tied up somehow
lonewolfxxx 0
Today, I got punched by an idiot trying to get out of his covers. FML
deadsrs 0
I love you for catching that!
Resquall 0
Help! I'm trapped in a well and can't get out!.. ladies.
robhammer 0
Don't lie u were violently masturbating