Transportation: Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't...

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 13:58 - United States

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 009

You deserved it 7 082

Transportation

Good kid

This Charming Man

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 15:30

Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 286

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 751

You deserved it 51 620

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 435

You deserved it 8 644

By HappyMan - 03/08/2012 02:14 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 2 312

By lulu - 11/02/2012 10:19 - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 218

You deserved it 4 697

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 546

You deserved it 229

Comforter

By random - 29/01/2012 10:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 5 381

By cyprianista - 13/02/2015 16:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 088

You deserved it 4 398

By Flighted - 22/09/2012 04:54 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 033

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 439

You deserved it 8 346

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 12:06 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 270

You deserved it 6 532

By Andrexwife - 31/07/2009 07:03 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 288

You deserved it 4 982

By Anonymous - 06/12/2014 18:23 - United States

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his god-damn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 383

You deserved it 9 016

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 509

You deserved it 4 735

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 7 292

By human - 21/06/2019 00:01

Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 222

By budapesthungary - 21/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, at my job as a cake decorator in a bakery, I put the finishing touches on the wedding cake of the man who left me at the altar 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 985

You deserved it 2 791

By jazzie7719 - 28/09/2014 19:26 - United States - Arlington

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 945

You deserved it 4 305

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2012 05:52 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 10 992

By poop - 06/02/2011 18:26 - United States

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 810

You deserved it 4 725

By Jazzyfayyye - 29/05/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said, "You know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 240

You deserved it 3 676

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 393

You deserved it 3 579

By twicethepersonioncewas - 18/10/2016 05:19 - United States - Merion Station

Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification that my workload would be increased to more than twice what is was before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 253

You deserved it 958

By allergies - 18/09/2015 14:43 - United States - New York

Today, I sneezed while my ID photo was being taken. I look like a total moron in it. The photographer refused to retake the photo because I "clearly" faked the sneeze just to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 979

You deserved it 1 780

By sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 175

By HylianFox - 27/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Today, my parents had a long discussion on whether a cut on my arm looked like a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 3 044

By NoCookForYou - 22/08/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 612

You deserved it 5 814

Nasty

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 14:00

Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 84

Protip

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 18:03

Today, my endometriosis has reached stage 4 and has spread to many organs, including my colon. My constipation got so bad that my Apple Watch told me it was time to stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 91

By datingfail - 14/08/2016 12:06 - Australia - Northcote

Today, I went on a date with a guy who told me his main aim in life is to live alone in an isolated lighthouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 758

You deserved it 1 113

By prego - 24/08/2010 16:01 - Canada

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 5 292

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:36 - Austria

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 349

You deserved it 3 123

By Anonymous - 19/03/2014 01:07 - United Kingdom - Burnley

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 667

You deserved it 4 888

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 649

You deserved it 23 835

By justanothergamergirl - 17/04/2019 20:00

Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he is a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 1 130

By deservedly - 09/06/2014 16:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 771

You deserved it 17 395

By Damnlife123 - 21/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 222

You deserved it 130 497

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 410

You deserved it 13 060

By Anonymous - 24/07/2016 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 168

You deserved it 1 401

By Shampoodle - 11/10/2017 21:45

Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 317

You deserved it 384

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Top comments

DevilsMetsGiants 30

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:23

That's actually adorable. But no worries OP, I'm sure it won't be the last time a guy hits on you.

DestinyNiya 33

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:21

Aha, he probably thought you were cute ^_^

DestinyNiya 33

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:21

Aha, he probably thought you were cute ^_^

MrsPegg 45

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Monday 1 June 2015 11:01

And/or a little off in the mind. Poor OP. I really do feel for her. :(

noonenoeone 22

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Monday 1 June 2015 12:29

He probably thought you weren't interested...I sure wouldn't think getting rejected like that was cute.

mannatee 19

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Monday 1 June 2015 14:51

Or he had a normal reaction and was really hurt. Getting rejected in a way that's obvious is not cute at all.

SystemofaBlink41 27

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Tuesday 2 June 2015 4:07

Especially if there were people around.

Unbearable_fml 21

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:21

More like FHL. I'm sorry that happened though, OP! Hopefully things worked out.

stingray112 24

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Monday 1 June 2015 15:41

I've always wondered in these situations if the other person has the FML app too and he goes on it and then he's like " Oh so that's what happened" but anyway yeah no worries OP I doubt he likes you any less for it and prob just knows you were nervous.

DevilsMetsGiants 30

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:23

That's actually adorable. But no worries OP, I'm sure it won't be the last time a guy hits on you.

BigC_from_Bama 16

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:56

I'd feel like an ugly bastard if that happened to me. Like damn, I'm so ugly she forgot we on a bus...

mexican_music 13

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Monday 1 June 2015 12:54

I wouldn't be too sure

Dick_diamond 22

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Monday 1 June 2015 13:26

And you're sure of this because??? OP herself says it's been a while, hence her reaction..

brand125 17

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Monday 1 June 2015 15:11

38 - what are you talking about? wrong comment?

blubje 17

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Monday 1 June 2015 19:23

It might be the last time this particular guy hits on her though

wheresmymary 22

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:25

Awkwardness is always the best way to start relationships!

TheOneShogun1996 6

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:25

I'm sorry, OP. Things will get better, I promise.

RowanNightShade 22

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:26

And this, kids, is how I met your father.

Iwannarock1 19

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Tuesday 2 June 2015 8:00

not her. she sounds silly.

WOTAN1488 24

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:28

Possibility of receiving a mixed reaction is high.

Sophia94 9

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:34

I read "hit me" instead of "hit on me" and was really confused especially after reading comments like "that's adorable"

sarahj13 13

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Monday 1 June 2015 7:43

I once told this guy after he started flirting with me that there are 2 kinds of sloths 2 toes and three toed. Needless to say he stopped taking to me. I'm so awkward but my boyfriend told me it is adorable , so don't worry op and get back out there!!!