Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
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Top comments
robhammer 0
Don't lie u were violently masturbating
deadsrs 0
This is exactly why I sleep naked... ladies.
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Comments (141)
Pearljammer001 0
LMFAO @ #25
rockhound 0
you, my friend, are an idiot
Tamara2011 0
loww keyyy.......... fail
sflomb 18
How does that happen? O_o
shankapotamous15 3
aww you poor thing! i'm sorry lol
Tamara2011 0
USE A SNUGGIE duh!
Pearljammer001 0
nothing like a falcon punch to the nuts to start your morning.
Bugatti_Veyron 1
you should have stopped and said the following: "enough. my ship sails in the morning; I wonder what's for DINNER? oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat and octorock!" then you will achieve nirvana ;)
canzo378 0
....boring
FarSide 23
FAKE. New Jersey men do not have balls.