Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
milobloom 0
This is why the whole "no sex until marriage" thing is BS. Let it be a lesson to everyone reading this.. sex may not be the only thing in a relationship, but it's a pretty f'ing major thing. To wait until after you're married and hope your partner is good at it is not the best idea.
Lisa89 3
This is pissing me off... I go to make some funny ass comment and I get dragged down by reading what other people have to say.... It's always some epic battle of morals or religion.
clusterfungus 3
It takes 2 to tango. Sometime 3 or 4.
ReverendDC 2
how would you know bitch if it was your first time?
shadowsbane 0
Because everyone ***** like a **** star on their first time. **** you OP.
joangar 0
since you both are the type to wait until marriage, im guessing it was the first time ever for both of you. of course he'll be terrible at first you probably sucked too. be patient bitch
lostfaithinpppl 19
That's why you try it before you buy it dumb ass.
gotmilk23 0
Applauds you for waiting. Now you just have to train him in what you like.
athena200911 0
teach him. teach him. teach him. and then let him teach u some.
BIGshooter 2
love is like a car you can't get the best performance until it's broken in and tuned up