Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
ASA5G 2
okay. you shouldnt have waited till marriage cause then you would have figured this out beforhand. now youre marriage is gonna feel like the sex is stale and you just got married.
aricTB 0
249: no one even thought of that! smart
nicedevil6 0
that's all ur fault. u have to try the shoes before u buy them
toast1b 0
Well he married an experinced hore
death779 4
ydi you made him wait so that means he has no experience with it
alicevictoria 0
shoulldaa done a practice run the night before ;)
baby5829 0
7 I heart tht lol and well he's ur husband, plus mayb he was thinking the same thing ya Neva kno. but it was nic of u guys to wait
tatang93 0
how do u know ur not horrible as well
Ucla_cupcake 0
Ummm well it WAS the first time for of you so f both your lives. Secondly, that's why you experiment and practice beforehand lol just sayin'. But each to their own.
rb257 0
repeat
jacquie1652 0
he'll get better. my first boyfriend used to slobber all over me while kissing. i am happy to report he is the best kisser and lover ever now. and enough so that I eventually married him.