Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
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Top comments
robinsn 0
Most people are their first time.
bobsanction 18
I doubt you know what good sex is.
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Comments (416)
bugmenotmofo 34
you stupid prudish ****. WTF did you expect!?!?! that's what you get for being a fanatical religious prude.
MMApimp 0
that's what you get for being morman
quinz 4
Geez guys, stop bashing people just because they want to wait. It's a valid choice. To the OP: I may be a virgin but I at least watch enough TV to know that the first time is generally not that great. Keep trying, it'll get better.
ducuss 0
I agree with you, one should wait until after a few times before judging. At the same time, OP, you deserve it for pulling out the promise ring.
Nitsuaaa 6
"I watch TV" is most certainly NOT a good source for trying to make an argument! It makes you sound overwhelmingly stupid. Just because it's shown on TV doesn't make it true. TV is meant for entertainment. That's all.
JenoveX 0
Wow, you selfish bitch. You wanted to wait untill you were happily married to have sex with your husband. You should love him for everything he is, sex gets better you simple minded ****.
noxeris 3
It will get better with time. It's only your 1st time you can't expect it to be perfect.
lillyloco 0
As a virgin, I really can't relate to this, but you deserved it OP for 2 reasons; 1) You can't expect everything to go great the first time-even if you aren't virgins. 2) You're married now and you're posting this sick crap about him? That's really low and untrustworthy. If this is where he stands with you, maybe you rushed things too fast.
Nitsuaaa 6
OP, I can tell you're mentally challenged based on a few things: 1. You waited to have sex until marriage. Point being, you're obviously religious in some way. Only a monkey would blindly follow such corrupt teachings. 2. What did you expect? It was his first time dumbass, he's not gonna be pro right off the bat. 3. You can't spell anonymous. It's not even that, it's just you coulda just ******* Googled it or some shit. The ****. Retard.
CaroAurelia 12
You're an asshole. I'm sorry I can't sugarcoat your reality for you.
slagger123 0
Seriously i hate girls who complain about how a guy sucks in bed, let's face it most girls do little to no work themselves and then judge the guy cus he wasn't doing it right. So unless you were giving it your all, SHUT THE **** UP AND STOP BITCHING!" also ya as everyone else said, if it's his 1st time you can't expect him to be that great. that's what stupid religious nuts get for waiting, crappy sex and realizing that just cus you got married doesn't mean everything is going to be great cus you waited to have sex and move in together. virginity is overrated for girls and guys. if you do it great and if you don't who cares, IT'S JUST SEX!!!
saylore770 0
hey its the first time. practice practice practice :p
SweetSyn 0
Thats why abstinence is bullshit!!