By jenni - 6/4/2021 20:00

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

366

You deserved it

902

Tweet

Share

Incognito browsing

Surrounded

Halloween came early

By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35271

You deserved it

3499

Tweet

Share

By Anna - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8745

You deserved it

51580

Tweet

Share

By great - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39649

You deserved it

6520

Tweet

Share

By ouchiee - United States

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42477

You deserved it

4134

Tweet

Share

By Bob H. - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38474

You deserved it

5359

Tweet

Share

By And yes, he does also believe in the Illuminati.

Today, I learned that my new boyfriend seriously thinks that Inglorious Bastards is historically accurate and is actually the secret history of World War 2 being revealed to the public. Nothing I say will make him change his mind. I guess that relationship is a goner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3020

You deserved it

353

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21628

You deserved it

79761

Tweet

Share

By saddude - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26287

You deserved it

113216

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29492

You deserved it

2817

Tweet

Share

By Liz - United States - Torrance

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24185

You deserved it

3569

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

You snooze, you lose

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1191

You deserved it

988

Tweet

Share

By brokenface - United States - Notre Dame

Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21583

You deserved it

2621

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - La Grange

Horndog

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30613

You deserved it

5627

Tweet

Share

By crazydaughter - Egypt

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28727

You deserved it

3250

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Auburn

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32119

You deserved it

2121

Tweet

Share

By UghDude - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42143

You deserved it

3260

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64639

You deserved it

8124

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35098

You deserved it

3309

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/1/2021 02:01

Family heirloom

Today, I got the dress I gave to a tailor to replace a broken zipper back. When I tried it on, I discovered that they’d cut at least 4 inches of fabric, and being skinny, there’s no way I can ever fit into it. It’s from the 1950’s, inherited from my late grandma, who in turn inherited it from her aunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1106

You deserved it

69

Tweet

Share

By bleach for my eyes please - 7/3/2021 17:01

My eyes! My eyes!

Today, I found out the hard way that my sister has an OnlyFans. Not judging sex workers, I just really wish I’d know she goes by a stage name before I opened the clip. The things I’ve seen… FML

I agree, your life sucks

1322

You deserved it

366

Tweet

Share

By crushed - United States - Raleigh

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44201

You deserved it

3553

Tweet

Share

By John - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8354

You deserved it

57809

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/11/2020 11:03 - Austria - Innsbruck

Still pining

Today, I had a meeting in the town where my ex-girlfriend works. After the meeting, I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench in a public place. She came across with her girlfriends laughing and obviously having fun. She only looked in my direction briefly. I threw the ice cream into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

299

You deserved it

1033

Tweet

Share

By purpletrout - United States - Lansing

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10317

You deserved it

1105

Tweet

Share

By jigglypluff - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42103

You deserved it

4907

Tweet

Share

By bad dad

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2073

You deserved it

170

Tweet

Share

By K_M - Malaysia

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10227

You deserved it

75599

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Brampton

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34432

You deserved it

17571

Tweet

Share

By Kim - United States

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

I agree, your life sucks

54776

You deserved it

5229

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Cloquet

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks

55976

You deserved it

9602

Tweet

Share

By AnnieThrax - United States - Holdingford

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24275

You deserved it

2070

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Birthday Boy

Today, it's my 16th birthday. It's also it is the day my parents scheduled my wisdom teeth to be pulled out. Happy birthday to me, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1475

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By DieTrying - United States

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35106

You deserved it

5446

Tweet

Share

By YankeeDoodle - Australia

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25525

You deserved it

2051

Tweet

Share

By "jjuuuuuuulless"

Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2197

Phew, glad it wasn't me

287

Tweet

Share

By fuuuuck - United States

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18941

You deserved it

24624

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/2/2021 07:58

Mystery woman

Today, my husband of 4 years is tagged in a #ValentinesDayChallenge post on Facebook. No, I didn’t tag him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

756

You deserved it

85

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36820

You deserved it

3237

Tweet

Share

By s0728 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37484

You deserved it

3289

Tweet

Share

By Marine - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58176

You deserved it

8470

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ahabsfan | 14

#7984343 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 21:37

Whi would iou do that to such a ioung chyld?

By bleachedraven | 11

#7984350 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 22:09

I was just about to comment nice play on spelling lol

COMMENTS

By Lydmyers | 8

#7984329 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 20:39

she is little! give her a break.

By ahabsfan | 14

#7984343 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 21:37

Whi would iou do that to such a ioung chyld?

Reply

superjew | 6

#7984347 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 21:45

Learn to spell

Reply

bleachedraven | 11

#7984350 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 22:09

I was just about to comment nice play on spelling lol

Reply

Marcella1016 | 31

#7984357 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 23:05

I got the joke and liked it :)

By rainbowdonnareed | 17

#7984371 - Tuesday 6 April 2021 23:53

Shes 7! My younger cousins still call me Barbie! One is 40 in August! You need to apologize

By cacheson | 41

#7984415 - Wednesday 7 April 2021 4:22

Maybe give her that correction on a different day, with more subtlety.

Reply

bleachedraven | 11

#7984419 - Wednesday 7 April 2021 5:49

good point

By Gabriel Pontbriand | 5

#7985228 - Saturday 10 April 2021 8:10

Fuck your niece's life. A child is going to forget some things and make some spelling mistakes. Count yourself lucky she got you a card at all ffs.