Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
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Top comments
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
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Comments (172)
gamemastercrs 1
don't feel bad I get boners from staring at walls XD
chamblizi 2
I wouldt not feel bad life is ****** I am to the point where i'm like If i am not married or have kids at 40 its what ever... i went insane as of2012.
GottaCoconut 3
Dude, you have unlocked your wizard potential. Do you wish to be a conjurer, a Destruction user, or a restoration user?
basketofminks 6
Hey, much better that than the unfortunately typical scenario of not being able to get it up unless some poor lass is crying in pain.
Elfkid21 19
atleast your not the last male of your specials and is up to you to save your species, like Blue.
BFons 19
Nobody's fault but yours.
gear4 29
you're not the only one lol
Ze_Awesome_Me 8
Maybe you have a fetish for the colour blue?
azarel88 11
OP you should hire an escort for an hour or 2 give her a non stop romp and be on your way. probably might work, maybe.
theycallmerash 13
Get yourself a partner who loves Disney! (;