Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
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Top comments
MOOSE786 8
All babies look like potatoes to me
jentrynicole 20
How new of a baby is it? Because most newborns look like little aliens until are they a couple weeks old or so.
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Comments (50)
Saluriel 12
Jerry, you gotta see the baby!
deademolover 19
haha seinfeld love that episode! ? kramers response is perfect
chinaski7628 32
Breathtaking!
Johaneva_fml 12
I read "I shoked him instead'' of "I showed him" LOL
lucygwen 5
Ugly babies make attractive adults, cute babies make average or ugly adults. #harshtruth
brocho 26
That does tend to be the case a lot of the time, although I have seen a few defy it.
Sora_McKain 36
Yea, I was an ugly baby. Now I'm an ugly adult!
shyrriene 14
Don't worry! In a few months the baby will be cuter
TAntobella 14
Don't worry OP, most newborns are ugly, not just yours!
Elei 2
not nice. but they say that "ugly" babies will become beautifull grownups
the_real_dvd 21
When I was a teenager I had a girlfriend whose mom had what was IMO one of the ugliest babies I'd ever seen. This girl is now about 20 and one of the most breathtakingly gorgeous women you'll ever meet.
oldsaltydawg 12
sorry about your little potato ma'am
Tyrax 16
*shrugs* All babies look strange to me. It doesn't mean your kid is ugly or will be ugly.
Mojayokok 7
Well you can't control you're child being ugly, but that would definitely sting.