Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
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Top comments
klovemachine 24
It's just a candy bar. That's not worth getting a ticket for! YDI
IIRoxieII 12
Hahaha, WTF?
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Comments (142)
Ray_of_midnight 23
Whether you need to be on a diet or not, have you considered talking to a therapist about your issues around food, or dieting, or other people judging you, or whatever it is? Also, if you're going to cheat on a diet, eat better-quality chocolate than some crappy snickers bar. I suggest getting a couple of Godiva truffles instead.
ChaosOfDarkness 0
Ur a ******* idiot. YDI
iveanne 0
Yes, because the rest of the world is entirely consumed on whether you succeed or fail at your diet. Self centered much?! Sorry to break it to you OP, even if anyone knew you were in a diet, they don't give a shit!!!
lostfaithinpppl 19
Well said.
fallingstarsxox 8
How nice
zenrael 21
Hahaha I have to favorite this
Cosette_fml 1
DUDE, it is JUST a candybar!!!
mrlopez 13
*gal. It's a she.
custmwoody9 4
Cheaters never prosper!
bobbymiles67 0
Your an idiot
Mitcha857 0
*You're
GreysonPiercee 0
BUAHAHA. The image.
lostfaithinpppl 19
You are a moron, OP.