Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML
Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
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Top comments
klovemachine 24
It's just a candy bar. That's not worth getting a ticket for! YDI
IIRoxieII 12
Hahaha, WTF?
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Comments (142)
Eclipse217 1
I think it regulates you metabolism or something like that. If you're on a hardcore diet and you start eating like you normally did before, you'll back you weight twice as fast, so it's good to cheat will you're on a diet. Something like that right?
forever_born 6
Lol you are a moron. No offense OP but I'm sure the cop don't care about your diet.
emmy627 2
Does anyone else feel like this is a made up story? If it's not..OP you are a dumbass and YDI.
kaila332 0
Ur dumb
vasamisalami74 4
Like a someboooooooo DEE!!!!
wowthatissad 9
Yes because a police officer would notice you cheating on your diet... Not like you see too many people you know whilst driving either...
bubbalax9 9
And this is why you should exercise instead of dieting...
ladybuggirl1234 3
wow. no offense but thats just plain stupid.
lmfaoincanada 9
I'd look into therapy if I were you. If being caught with a chocolate bar is that horrific to you, you just might have some deeper issues... Either that or the aliens can triangulate your position and are definetly counting your calories... (Insert x-files music here)
msw24 5
Wow, that's ******* dumb.