Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML
Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AUShano 15
Obviously a case of 100% Customer Satisfaction!
ThomasBombadil 31
I'll have what she had.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
esfox83 17
The noises were probably a distraction
Ayezed 10
The glory days of a TSA agent, feeling grandma up for a bomb.
Dumbledora 9
The hug means she'll be back.
damnit1989 16
I guess she likes a man in uniform.
littlekellilee 45
A woman in uniform, you mean.
XxXBadAshXxX 27
I think you made her day
Credibleskills 28
Sounds like she knows what she is doing!
mxij 13
The daily life of a British TSA agent
vikky538 28
wow... no job is simple..every job encounters some assholes... sorry OP ..
cryssycakesx3 22
I think OP encounters a lot of assholes...
skyeyez9 24
OP must be a TSA agent.
MrsPlague 11
So, at first I thought this was hilarious because I thought OP was a guy... Then I realized OP is a woman, and now it sounds like the beginning to a **** flick... Is there security footage anywhere? :)