Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML
Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
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Top comments
AUShano 15
Obviously a case of 100% Customer Satisfaction!
ThomasBombadil 31
I'll have what she had.
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Comments (75)
jorgeq161 4
What?! That's sounds like an awesome job/scenario. Should've gotten that number OP
dreishot 1
congratulations! now you'll have a "returning customer" :-)
dreishot 1
I must say... you know a woman's "spots" quite well :-)
funsize1752 7
That's hilarious.
Blondie_0509 6
After you finished....? I get the feeling shé finished first....
martin8337 35
Should have gotten a name and number.
FrankHotpants 31
I think everyone's forgetting OP is a female too.
phatdaddy62 23
Because homosexuality isn't real.
TrinityNevada 11
She feels disrespected by being searched so she protets by making you feel annoyed/uncomfortable. Immature? Yes. Funny? Yes.
A_Perfect_Circle 12
She wanted you to know that you are satisfying your partners needs xD
Petey801 5
Are you a pig or something? I would probably have lmao!