Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML
Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML
Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML
Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
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Top comments
AUShano 15
Obviously a case of 100% Customer Satisfaction!
ThomasBombadil 31
I'll have what she had.
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Comments (75)
briang959 47
How do I apply for your job? LOL!
phatdaddy62 23
Yeah, so you can grope a guy!
brandoneyez1 25
Probably the most touching she's had in a long time.
LostMy_Marbles 24
As uncomfortable as it may have made you, you probably made her day.
MortenM 17
Yea - tax money finally providing great customer service
pressingreset 13
Sounds more interesting than anything that happens at my job.
PainOfDemise 11
i'm guessing she doesn't get touched much. At least you were able to give her some pleasure.
Deadpool47 23
where do I apply for this job?
phatdaddy62 23
You want to body cavity search a 500 lb woman?
cryssycakesx3 22
them's a lot of cavities...
energizerbunny23 18
And then you find out really, she was a man all along
kurodansei 16
She sounds like a fun lady, that is hilarious. Takes some large metaphorical cahones to prank sum1 like that lol.
False_Stupidity 41
You ruined the comment by not bothering to spell out someone.
buckdharma 37
No, no, you're cold. You're getting warmer, warmer, warmer. You're red hot! Yes, yes, Y-E-S...
TheMystery13 13
I take it she wasn't all that attractive.
dachayke 16
Why do you say that?
littlekellilee 45
27 you're on fml, not a **** site.