Work and Embarrassing: Social skills

Social skills

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 18:00

Today, a really pretty girl came into my work, but when I went up to help her, my brain misfired and I accidentally said, "How can I hump you?" She yelled at me, and my manager put me on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 2 140

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Same thing different taste

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By Jobless - 22/05/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally mistyped "one sec" as "one sex" in a group chat at work. I apologized and corrected myself immediately, but some bitch with too much free time was so offended that she reported me to HR anyway. I'm suspended while they look into it, and my girlfriend is convinced I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 97

Undercover

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 21:00

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 231

Mind your own business

By New CV and Tinder needed - 23/05/2023 12:00

Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 164

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 588

Broadcast

By suspended - 25/07/2015 00:59 - United States - Englewood

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 27 059

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 370

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Waunakee

Today, at work a lady asked for a burrito, large coke, and hot sauce. While repeating back the order, the words got stuck and I accidentally said large cock. I got written up for being inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 801

You deserved it 983

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 069

You deserved it 3 096

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 645

You deserved it 3 494

By irresponsible - 14/08/2010 20:41 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 028

You deserved it 8 884

Henry8cooper 15

Monday 29 July 2019 18:42

No - no your brain did not misfire - it was expressing your state of mind with scary precision.

BigSissy 14

Monday 29 July 2019 18:06

That is equally horrifying and hilarious!

Comments

BigSissy 14

Monday 29 July 2019 18:06

That is equally horrifying and hilarious!

Henry8cooper 15

Monday 29 July 2019 18:42

No - no your brain did not misfire - it was expressing your state of mind with scary precision.

acmariner99 25

Tuesday 30 July 2019 0:26

That’s pretty funny, but you do kinda deserve it. Just make sure to run your thoughts through your brain filter before speaking next time!

mekiswrite 21

Tuesday 30 July 2019 1:24

Talk about a Freudian Slip.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 July 2019 4:59

Nice try. Were you hoping the reply would be “doggie style?”

WeirdUS 29

Tuesday 30 July 2019 11:38

That wasn't a misfire your brain outed you for being a creep. YDI

FinkiusMaximus 9

Tuesday 30 July 2019 14:48

Strange. Unless you really emphasized the word "hump" or have impeccable diction, I imagine the average person wouldn't even notice the slip.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Tuesday 30 July 2019 16:12

maybe you should work in the back if not fired

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:49

"**** you very much!"

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 243

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, I noticed I had a dead gnat stuck on my chin. This was after an hour-long appointment with a good looking doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 198

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 394

You deserved it 1 588

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 494

You deserved it 53 440

Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 272

You deserved it 5 212

Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 727

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 985

You deserved it 6 876

Same thing different taste

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