Kids: Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost...

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 646

You deserved it 959

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Same thing different taste

Work sucks

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 407

You deserved it 2 645

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 177

You deserved it 2 776

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 2 789

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 391

You deserved it 2 752

By kimmybr - 22/09/2009 09:36 - United States

Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 5 600

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 602

You deserved it 860

Slam dunk

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 19:49 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 506

You deserved it 3 820

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 174

samlovesham1234 9

Friday 10 June 2016 8:55

Maybe he didn't make it in time? That does happen.

HylianBadger 21

Friday 10 June 2016 8:48

I'd hate to see how bad he aims when he pees.

Comments

HylianBadger 21

Friday 10 June 2016 8:48

I'd hate to see how bad he aims when he pees.

idfwuidk 12

Friday 10 June 2016 8:53

It's a hot mess

samlovesham1234 9

Friday 10 June 2016 8:55

Maybe he didn't make it in time? That does happen.

deathstroke990 22

Friday 10 June 2016 8:56

it doesn't really matter the age, when someone's sick the vomit doesn't always listen

XxPojoxX 17

Friday 10 June 2016 9:08

What a shitty situation. Wrong one? I'll walk myself out

freddygasman 18

Friday 10 June 2016 9:22

be careful not to slip on the wet tile

zaidthunder1 27

Saturday 11 June 2016 5:33

Better Run.

alexeismommy 5

Friday 10 June 2016 9:16

oh poor boy. as a mommy i feel so bad for your son. i hate it when my son is sick. what a horrible way for him to start summer vacation. :(

socialproduct 19

Friday 10 June 2016 9:21

I've seen situations where both the toilet and the floor are a disaster in the aftermath. At least he chose one and committed to it.

khiiirsty 14

Friday 10 June 2016 19:13

Me too. One time, my friend came over off the *****. What started off as a study night before finals, ended with him puking all over the bathroom floor, toilet, and shower. Considering I had an exam early that morning, I was pissed at the mess. He ended up being okay after he sobered up though, which is most important.

OlRed 28

Friday 10 June 2016 9:37

It's either alcohol poisoning or a stomach flu. Previous OP went with the stomachache, I wonder what your kid will go with?

Danne696 14

Friday 10 June 2016 11:54

Well, there can be 100 different reasons for vomiting so making that assumption seems a bit narrow-minded.

Jumbled_Mess 7

Friday 10 June 2016 13:15

*Woosh* Hey OP, did you give your son a suppository yet?

OlRed 28

Friday 10 June 2016 17:36

@16 It's a comment connecting and earlier FML... And it's an indirect way of asking op: why the kid was throwing up? Op can now respond by laughing and saying "no it's neither, he just didn't want to go to school." (because you can bet that was only one of the reasons I threw up around that age.) @17 we should start a chant: suppository! Suppository!

blazingshot147 19

Friday 10 June 2016 9:39

Look you have to forgive him. Us men struggle a little bit to aim in the mornings. Piss or vomit both come out the front... Just a bit of a height diffrence though.

chuka81 27

Friday 10 June 2016 11:19

Speak for yourself man. When I piss or vomit, my aim is impeccable. Defecating however presents the problem, how can you aim correctly with your back at the target?