By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 947
You deserved it 5 993

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xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Hunt the babysitter down and kick their ass.

I don't understand why you would go on holiday leaving your 4 year old, let alone leaving him with a babysitter you obviously couldn't trust instead of a responsible family member or friend.


ArielTheMermaid 17

Guys, I apologize for this comment. My younger cousin was messing with my iPod. Please disregard.

stevenJB 25

This is the Internet: you will not be forgiven!

hwgiewogniy Oops, sorry guys, my alternate identity briefly took over my body. As I was saying, koewgh8ewyneb. Actually, that was just me bashing my forehead against my keyboard in frustration.

Not even if you discover the meaning of life. Well maybe of you make up a good pun we could understand

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

Hunt the babysitter down and kick their ass.

tjv3 10

Why didn't you take him with you on vacation? YDI for not including him on vacation. YDI for hiring a crappy baby sitter . Just sayin

A relaxing vacation with a four year old? Good luck...

Or she could just ask Bob the Builder to do that

Maybe the babysitter had a guy over and she had sex with him and kept shouting "I love ass"? Also, she doesn't get paid and never hire her again and tell everyone you know that she isnkt trustworthy. Got that Op?

JoeCookieRaider 5

I'm sure she went on the vacation because her child was making everything a pain in her ass. So she hired a babysitter to go on a peaceful vacation for a little bit.

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Well it makes you wonder. What that kid did to that poor babysitter, to make her leave the house. My money would be on, the kid throwing some of that poo on the babysitter. Thats at least what I use to do as a kid, besides for putting a blade in my mouth.

Oh, Pleonasm... You WOULD know how to celebrate vacations, wouldn't you? I'm sure the ladies swooned when they saw you streaking down the street, covered in fecal matter. If I remember correctly, you even drew tribal patterns on your body in an effort to attract some females.

TheRandomIndian 17

Pleonasm, you went a bit too far on this wordplay. Never include children with these adult jokes! Usually, I think your jokes are fine but this is a 4 year old we're talking about, it could offend the OP. Plus, you lost your wits on this one! ]=

Jackass, the child's safety was at hand. And who knows for how long?

Dairyking 8

I'm sorry, Pleonasm. It appears your obviously facetious tone was severely overlooked here.

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Pleonasm getting downvoted? What is this madness!

#66 - *gasp* It could offend the OP? Oh, lord, we don't want to offend the OP! That is scrutiny!

That's a shitty situation. At least your kid isn't learning a worse phrase.

"That's a shitty situation". It's like you want to be pelted with a barrage of stones.

I agree though. Your kid could have learned a much worse phrase. Like if he learned to say, "that's a shitty situation".

Anyone notice #70 is yelling at himself?


That's kind of FreshPie's thing- Post a comment, and when it gets downvoted, yell at yourself. He's been doing it for quite a while now.

At least people have heard of him, 86.

Llama_Face89 33

We all knew someone would bring up that tired joke.

Oh come on, someone had to be the asshole to do it.

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

I can't stop singing you're new lyrics to Bob the Builder in my head. Definitely that baby sitter should be hunted down...

Your* You just tried too hard there dear.

I don't understand why you would go on holiday leaving your 4 year old, let alone leaving him with a babysitter you obviously couldn't trust instead of a responsible family member or friend.

Obey_StudBoii 23

I love how on anything that is even tangentially related to parenting, someone will find some reason to call the person a bad parent. Because the real issue here isn't that someone abandoned a 4-year-old, it's that the 300 character limit on FMLs doesn't give us enough room to know the exact situation, so it MUST be OP's fault.

I've been on vacation with a 4-year-old before. It was the worst vacation of my life. If someone convinces me to have a kid they aren't going on vacation with me until they're 12. Selfish? I don't care. I'm going on vacation, not on a trip to bring my home life to a tropical beach.

You obviously don't understand the reason a parent of a 4 year old takes a vacation. Hint: to get away from the kid for a couple days. This is one of the few times I would say sue the baby sitter. That person should never be trusted to care for children again and the courts can make that happen.

Don't have to sue. Just charge with child endangerment.

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Calm down, spring. A child isnt going to be scarred because you took a few days off.

Perhaps it's obvious in retrospect that the babysitter couldn't be trusted, but it probably wasn't so obvious beforehand. Also, who says that the babysitter wasn't a family member to begin with?

bamagrl410 31

62 - There's a difference between just dumping your child on someone else or having someone watch them for a couple days while you relieve stress. Please tell me how you feel after going through years of little sleep, keeping a constant eye out to make everything is safe and sound, cleaning up messes multiple times a day, changing diapers and potty training, constantly validating things your child says or asks (because they require that a lot), entertaining them, stopping them from crying, and all the other 24/7, exhausting tasks of raising a child. My family didn't take the children out anywhere (like to restaurants or shopping, etc.) when we were little. We were watched by our grandparents. And now that I look back on it, I'll be doing the same thing because it takes a while to teach children proper behavior. If OP had taken the child, it wouldn't have really been a vacation.

#65 it depends on with who you leave them, besides why a babysitter? I'm sure if it was a family member OP would have mentioned that. I think it does affect a child. #69. I know exactly how that feels, but there is no way I would leave the kids just to enjoy myself. it's not something that you should put aside because you want to relax or w/e. My parents never left us somewhere so that they can enjoy their holiday. we always went along and no complaints there.

@8 obviously you don't have kids. She probably thought she could trust the babysitter and the point of a vacation is to get away from everything. Most parents don't bring their 4 year olds on vacation anyway unless it's disney or family. Hell my parents went on vacation when I was 4, luckily they were able to leave me with grandparents.

sourgirl101 28

My husband and I have gone on vacations with our kids AND also on 3 day vacations without our kids. We're their parents but we are also a couple that needs to reconnect and make "us" time. Toddlers and a romantic dinners etc... defeats the purpose. The OP did nothing wrong except maybe trust the wrong sitter. Btw my sitter was worth every cent and followed my instructions to a T. Knowing my family, the kids would have sat in front of the TV, ate junk food and gone to sleep whenever they felt like it. When you hire someone, it is nice to get them to follow your kids' routine.

Thank you for being a reasonable human being.

#62, if you can't be without your kids on a vacation then please just stay home. I don't want to hear whines of "I'm bored" at a museum or have sand thrown at me on the beach or wait for the elevator in my hotel to stop at every. single. floor. because Little Johnny just had to push all of the buttons.

And let's not forget the "I'm miserable and I'm going to make everyone else miserable too" kiddie mindset on planes.

#102/3 kids misbehave when their parents don't know how to handle them. I've never experienced that and I don't think I'll stay home just because some people can't handle kids. You were once a kid as well, you weren't miraculously born as an adult... besides as if you've NEVER in your life pushed every button on the elevator :)...

I feel like you need to be told that it's okay to be "you" outside of the parent role. That you don't have to be Supermom/dad, and that you're entitled (say it loud and proud) to time for yourself. You're a parent first, hell yes I agree, but you're also a person. And people, well, we need time to ourselves once in a while, even as parents. This doesn't make us bad parents. This makes us human beings. It's not something to be ashamed of.

maybe OP has no family living close by to take care of her child

No, I didn't do that in the elevator, or any of the other things I mentioned, which I HAVE experienced. Know why? Because I didn't have overly indulgent parents who let me think the entire world revolved around me.

I hope you don't have kids, #118.... You're in for a rude awakening.

I'd watch out for Bob the Builder if I were you.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Sounds like another part that would be used in "The Hangover" movie.

Don't give them ideas; they're already making a third one! Lolol

\ 28

Umm... heterosexual males? Just guessing :)