Kids: Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom...

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 164

You deserved it 2 767

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Same thing different taste

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 650

You deserved it 3 034

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 2 771

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 640

You deserved it 956

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 182

Stay hydrated

By Time To Go - 23/09/2022 01:30

Today, my kid has severe diarrhoea. My husband said he was going out to get medicine. Two long, painful hours later, I find he's out eating and chilling with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 963

You deserved it 5 996

By Bonding_boys - 17/12/2012 16:21 - United States - Elk River

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 859

You deserved it 6 277

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 786

You deserved it 1 665

By BathroomMuch - 25/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 866

You deserved it 7 728

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 737

You deserved it 6 391

NoWayLady 13

Saturday 13 October 2012 14:50

Paranormal activity 6?

pinkalicious224 7

Saturday 13 October 2012 14:53

Call someone to come pick him up. Then you and your husband can get well and clean up the messes he made.

Comments

ManicGypsy 22

Saturday 13 October 2012 22:51

OP has time to post this to FML, but not time to contact someone online to come check on kid? People need to learn priorities. Sorry.

jbicchinella 4

Saturday 13 October 2012 23:31

Yet you can post this on fml. Amazing..

HSOMGF 5

Sunday 14 October 2012 0:12

You have time to post to FML, but you won't (somehow) check on your child's welfare? You clearly have no sense of priorities and really shouldn't be a parent.

caitiebug1119 15

Sunday 14 October 2012 0:23

I know I shouldn't call a woman a bad mother, but this is REALLY bad parenting. What if he wasn't just making a mess around the house? What if he figured out how to turn on the oven burners and burned himself or started a house fire? All of those sharp butcher knives and glass objects in the kitchen? The front door that a three year old can probably open? Instead of posting an FML, CALL SOMEONE! Call someone to come babysit him. Or you could at least carry a little trashcan around with you to puke in.