Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up... - FML

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 23 795

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Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 23 448

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 183

You deserved it 9 755

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 582

You deserved it 1 181

Romance

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 881

You deserved it 4 661

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 745

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 08:45 - Canada - Richmond

Spicy

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 509

You deserved it 16 754

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 952

You deserved it 5 599

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 110

You deserved it 6 244

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 5 698

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 421

You deserved it 7 537

Next

Top comments

pleura 0

Monday 16 November 2009 0:01

Shut up, at least you're getting head.

Thatk1ddd 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 23:13

That's just, awkward...

Comments

KingHumanity 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:42

And your life is ****** because your girlfriend feels sexy, likes giving you ********, and like how you taste? F___ you.

KingHumanity 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:53

*likes*

prizefight 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:51

You got oral regardless so...shut the **** up.

ragsy 7

Monday 16 November 2009 2:06

Push her head down so she can't talk.

Spastro 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:13

what's wrong with that. she likes munching on some ...... that's hot.

ninjobliveus13 0

Monday 16 November 2009 3:19

Dude, that's pornolistuc! I wish I could have gotten my ex wife to say that! Not FYL. You should be tarred and feathered for suggesting a woman who swallows is anything but awesome. One that likes to no less. I just started hating you.

jcp012000 5

Monday 16 January 2012 2:19

Relax man. Apparently you get none at all!!

DenBriZel 31

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:22

How does him being divorced mean he doesn't get sex? There's other women out there!

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Monday 16 November 2009 3:48

thats what she said

weedking 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:06

Wow. Clearly NOT an FML. Douche.

riketbal 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:12

Where is the FML?

Erindub 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:23

You sir are insane!

perdix 29

Monday 16 November 2009 4:36

One "yummy" might be amusing, but five in a row is penile neglect. His dick probably got cold while she put on her little freak show. She needs to keep her head down and focus on the job at hand. After she swallows his load of ****, she can say or do whatever the hell she wants.

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The Top

Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 882

You deserved it 339

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 422

The Top

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 2 804

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 683

You deserved it 4 842

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 15 657

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me and that she is not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 098

You deserved it 352

Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 273

You deserved it 44 869

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 411

You deserved it 10 250