By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Spicy
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 002
You deserved it 8 057

Same thing different taste

Top comments

toughchick14 15

Well at least you know that the sex was 99.9% clean!

Comments

Wowxoxo 17

Atleast a sterile environment was created :)

3- I agree. Applying hand sanitizer to his penis might not be that big of a problem, but for OP it definitely changed the inner environment of her ******, at least for a while, and it may not be a healthy change.

Clean sex might be good sex but dirty sex is better.

I roll around in piles of garbage before sex, as a way of claiming my territory with my partner. No man will go near her for weeks ;).

Tay_racer10 3

Why did she have hand sanitizer on her night stand?

93-I personally always like keep my hand sanitizer, hand lotion, hand gloves, and other things handy on my nightstand.

Because cleanliness is next to godliness.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I was quite sure that if you don't have sex your penis will fall off from being backed up to hell.

People obviously didn't get the Mean Girls reference :')

It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide set ******! ;)

Devilpuppy0861 7

"Its to but Chlamydia is such a pretty name, I think I want to name my daughter Chlamydia." Don't worry girl, some of us got the awesome movie reference.

Devilpuppy0861 7

****, that auto correct doesn't even make sense. Sorry guys...

Don't have sex in the missionary, don't have sex standing up...just don't do it promise! Alright everybody take some rubbers!!

Pandamonia88 9

I am confused.. that chlamydia thing is a "waiting" reference right? Anywho.. did they finish? it's just pain..

ObsessedWithGays 7

Mean Girls' quotes are too overused.

While if you won't have sex, you won't die.

101 - Stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen.

110- Are you acting that way because I'm the only one you've told about your nose job?

DKjazz 20

Coach Karr's got the facts straight. Statistically, everyone who has had sex and later became pregnant, has died. It's been proven time and time again.

sugarbear0727 19

Pretty sure #2 is also referring to twilight. You know, Bella has sex with Edward, gets pregnant with half vamp spawn from hell, and dies after giving birth, then gets brought back to life as a vampire.

toughchick14 15

Well at least you know that the sex was 99.9% clean!

laya_fml 26

It'll be that damn .1% that will get to them.

Yeah, it always seems like the stragglers make it.

This comment has 69 likes xD Hopefully we can preserve this perfection!

No, but maybe we can help yours reach 69 dislikes.

laya_fml 26

I officially was the 69th person to dislike your comment! You're welcome. On a different note, 36 would that be occupy ******? I'm a little scared by that idea/image.

tylermt1999 17

Why do so many people feel the need to keep the likes at 69? It is getting old.

Well damn... At least it was still lubed?

LMFAOwned 9

The fact that it was lubed doesn't really justify all their pain..

Actually it wouldn't be lubed because hand sanitizer is alcohol-based and alcohol evaporates fairly quickly!

Ooh... the mental image, man... did you start smoking by the friction?

U_GotitDude 18

Why were they so close together anyway?

I actually like to be in a separate bed from my boyfriend when we have sex.

I think he meant the lube and hand sanitizer. XD

Now I feel bad. 40 actually made a good point.

friedpwnadge 25

If you had gone unprotected it would have killed any sperm. And your ovaries. :)

Maybe I'm misreading, but you're saying unprotected sex kills sperm and ovaries? So how were we born?:O

chefinheels88 5

She's saying that the sanitizer would kill them, not the sex lol

So if they used a condom AND hand sanitizer, the ovaries would still be safe?

#28 and #16 it really wasn't that difficult. They would not have needed to use protection as the hand sanitizer would kill the sperm. The last thought about the ovaries indicates from then on they would not have to use protection as the ovaries would be killed too.

perdix 29

I'm guessing it will be you. Penises are rugged, little buggers :D

I'm sure both of you will double check next time

crammer1 6

I almost put lube in my purse the other day thinking it was my mini bottle of sanitizer. Lol

I doubt it. I would have continued to keep them next to each other.

The last person who used hand sanitiser as lube on FML had to wear an adult diaper for a week...