Intimacy and Health: Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes - FML

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 766

You deserved it 12 010

Intimacy Health

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Same thing different taste

By areyoukiddingme - 02/11/2015 05:54 - United States - Marion

Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 2 176

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 069

You deserved it 2 669

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 381

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 082

You deserved it 5 182

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 888

You deserved it 6 011

By kentrm - 11/05/2016 02:12 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 010

You deserved it 1 431

Big brained

By TiredTeacher95 - 22/01/2022 19:59

Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 92

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 523

You deserved it 1 369

By Karmaisabitch - 18/05/2012 06:07 - United States - Boulder

Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 261

You deserved it 53 278

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 79 686

Next

Top comments

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 0:58

Ouch! I bet that burnt your pee pee hole. What did we learn? Hmmm? lol

AYoungMexicanLad 8

Friday 10 February 2017 0:00

YDI.

Comments

AYoungMexicanLad 8

Friday 10 February 2017 0:00

YDI.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 10 February 2017 0:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Arashikage 18

Friday 10 February 2017 5:41

What commercials have you been looking at

RichardPencil 30

Friday 10 February 2017 5:45

Ones from many years ago.

bigred121970 10

Friday 10 February 2017 0:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 0:58

Ouch! I bet that burnt your pee pee hole. What did we learn? Hmmm? lol

Stuffaluffagus 25

Friday 10 February 2017 1:06

So totally unrelated but your hair is gorgeous

ASLGabby 9

Friday 10 February 2017 4:38

It's goals

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 8:54

Thank you :) you are so sweet! It's my 3 absolute favorite colors. Blue, purple and pink. Took forever at the salon but totally worth it!

cuz803 44

Friday 10 February 2017 1:16

Well it's said karma's a bitch

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 10 February 2017 1:23

"you know when to hold them, you know when to fold them". He did not fold. I would now if I were you though. He don't play. And now you know~

cootiequeen4444 11

Friday 10 February 2017 1:28

RE-DO 'cause I mistyped dammit. 1 point if you find the difference "you know when to hold them, you know when to fold them". He didn't fold them. I would now if I were you though. He don't play. And now you know~

ajk168 22

Friday 10 February 2017 1:35

Somebody had to get burned

RaylanGivens 14

Friday 10 February 2017 1:44

A burn for a burn, baby. That's in the Bible.-- Hooch.

mattyiscool123 26

Friday 10 February 2017 1:54

Always expect to be pranked back

shitstorm28 11

Friday 10 February 2017 3:02

you earned that one, op.

Keywords

Weird Creepypasta Love Nice Guys Religion LGBTQIA+ Awkward Work Health Painful Food Transportation Sex Intimacy Politics Coworkers Death Mental health Cars Technology Social Media Parents Gamers Video games Poopoo peepee Kids Animals Cats Bosses Snow

The Top

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 294

You deserved it 811

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 202

The Top

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 295

You deserved it 5 375

Today, after waking up beside my girlfriend to get ready to go to work, I leaned down to kiss her while she was still asleep, and she said, "Have a good day Jake." My name starts with a J, but it's not Jake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 108

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 543

You deserved it 3 471

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 608

You deserved it 2 654

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 102

You deserved it 1 726

Today, I found out my boyfriend didn’t know what quotation marks are. He’s 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 119