By kittenfish8903 - 06/10/2014 19:46 - United States
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#24, it could be a reason to break up though. If marrying is a dream of hers, she has the right to break up with him if he really doesn't wanna marry her.. It's like one person really wanting a child, while the other one doesn't. Then the person who wants it will probably find someone who does want a child.. But this doesn't mean she can't make him try to rethink it, or ask him when he's sober and thinking straight.
#90 you can be in love and live a full, happy life with someone without getting married. All a wedding does is provide a legal document that the two are now legally bound. It's the love and commitment that make a relationship work and that does not come by a piece of paper.
That's what I was kind of getting at, but I did a terrible job of saying it. You shouldn't enter in a relationship expecting to marry this very person. You should enter a relationship hoping that this person just may be the one. You should hope for it, not expect it. Expecting the person to be everything you want in a marriage only creates disappointment when they aren't all that you expect. Not only that, but marriage should only be considered in a serious relationship. (Personally/ not the se for everyone) I think a serious relationship is when you've been with them long enough and you care for them to a point that when you learn of a problem that they hid from you, (such as a addiction) rather than leaving them, you push them to get better and you willingly and lovingly stay to help them through something in their life that is bad. It's when you're willing to stay and give them a hug when they need you most. Unfortunately, a lot of people go into marriage, thinking they are the perfect couple. And when something bad comes out, right at the beginning, they just say that they can't deal with it. You don't have to stay. In fact, you shouldn't stay if the other person is intentionally harming you, or if their problem that they seek no help for is harming you. Love is a beautiful thing. But remember, it has a pretty friend who is fake and temporary. The friend may seem nice now, and may even seem like what you want. But the friend is nothing compared to Love. Just because it gets hard chasing Love, doesn't mean you should settle for it's lesser friend. But... How do you know who's Love, and who's their fake friend? You'll know it when you meet them. When you see everything good and bad about them, you'll know which one is Love.
Not sure why people are saying dump him or calling him an ass.. I don't want to get married either, it's a religious ceremony and for some people like me it's viewed as a waste of time. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how much I love someone
I guess it depends on what each person wants. Sure, if neither person cares for marriage there's no problem. But if OP absolutely wants to get married one day and her boyfriend confirms (once sober) that he really doesn't ever want to get married to her, that can be a deal breaker. But I agree with you that this shouldn't be an automatic "break up with him" situation. First of all, he might not really have meant it. Secondly, OP might not even have been thinking of marriage with him, and it was more of an FML because of the dick-y way he said it. The WAY he tells op is most likely the reason people are bashing him.
Seriously, you are either very young, or a retard. A marriage is a legal contract, regulating rights and obligations between two persons, a shitload of gouvernment concerned stuff, and certainly its not a pointless religious ceremony. Thats an addon for some people. But it has NOTHING to do with legal marriage.
Oh I know the whole legal side of marriage, but frankly I don't agree with getting married. Like I said, it's a piece of paper that means nothing. Once you live at the same address for 6 months you become common law marriage and subject to similar laws and tax breaks as a full marriage. ( at least where I'm from)
#39 before this thing called our government (and medieval political strategists) existed marriage was indeed a religious ceremony. A ritual performed in the house of God to bless and unite two people as one. A contract was still signed. Now it is still considered a religious ceremony to the religiously affiliated and a good excuse to have a huge party for the non-religious in which case it is a pointless religious ceremony. Either way, a wedding does not love make.
Would anyone mind explaining what would be the reasoning behind someone who is against marriage? I understand if people feel that it has no personal significance to them, but I've never before encountered someone who is actively against it. I'm genuinely curious.