By theawfulpresent - 30/01/2013 00:28 - United States - Germantown

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 348
You deserved it 3 427

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2 reasons to take his advice: A) he obviously doesn't want to be with you. B) He's an idiot....

What a coward, why doesn't he just break up with you? Unless you're some kind of psycho stalker who refuses to be broken up with, in which case I'd take the hint...

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What a coward, why doesn't he just break up with you? Unless you're some kind of psycho stalker who refuses to be broken up with, in which case I'd take the hint...

I'd say if he's doing this you should break up anyway, your both obviously not happy to be with each other

Stop hijacking my comment, and *you're.

I doubt a psycho stalker would take that hint... Or they would probably beat you to death with it while asking you, "why don't you love me?"...... Or something.

2 reasons to take his advice: A) he obviously doesn't want to be with you. B) He's an idiot....

Watch the movie "He's just not that into you"

That's when you kick him in the happy fun bags and say "you hypnotized me into it!".

Bags? Plural? :O

Yea, for the other one is for the dick on his head, Zing ;)

poke him in the eye and shout its over sister!!!

Creative, I must say

I noticed you didn't say ex

He will never escape his fate.

sounds like you need a new boyfriend anyways op

I'd say it's time to get out of the relationship before he succeeds in hypnotizing you into doing something else...

Better than him trying to hypnotize you for constant blow jobs...

That's one way to get Angelina Jolie's lips!

Ah yes, the old "It's not you, it's me. Focus only on me. Listen to my voice. Follow my voice. Clear your mind. What can you see? You see a chicken clucking blissfully on a pasture. You are that chicken, not me. On the count of three you will cluck like a chicken and break up with me." It always worked for me.

Sounds like it's the boyfriend that's more of a chicken. :P

The mighty Pleonasm has spoken...You like what he said, you don't know why, but you really like it. Really, really like it. You will begin thumbing him up at the count of three. 1.... 2.......3.

Of course it does sound like that Enslaved, but the whole trick is in cnvincing your GF that she is, not you ;)

Now look at the chicken, then look at your man. Sadly, your man is the chicken