You know what they say... You don’t have to fake it when you cake it.

I'd rather have a piece of cake instead of a man any day. Cakes don't send unsolicited dick pics, or cheat on you.

What?

Cakes often send pics of disgusting places they’ve spread their “frosting.”

Also, cakes are total sluts — they let anybody eat them.

No, cakes are no good for monogamy — you can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

Hey, if you share your cake, that's on you. Me, I like to keep my diabetes to myself. And not every cake has frosting. Some are just really moist.

Why yes I'll take a slice.

If you tell us you had cake after that, it will be the most satisfying erotic story I've ever read.

I see nothing wrong with this post.

Oh man you need to get yourself some chocolate cake

"Oh yeah, baby! Eat me!"

That is so wrong! You need some serious help.

Clearly, chocolate cake speaks in a breathy, feminine whisper with a slight French accent. You need your hearing checked or something.

So did you lick it? The cake?

Are you on a diet? If so it might be time for a cheat day