By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 417
You deserved it 54 832

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on

leftyy 0

then there would be nothing LEFT

Comments

Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on

leftyy 0

then there would be nothing LEFT

Turn off auto-correction. I did that the minute I got my iPod Touch.

Anyone else think of Minecraft while reading this? :)

Alexisthebestest 16

Whenever my aunt was mad at my uncle, she would take one of his shoes and burn them. ;)

I like how the airforce guy has a Marine Corp picture. Way to go.

I know right! Chair force guy with a jarheads iwo jima picture!!!

The_Troller 14

47- I sure did. Minecraft FTW!

Woops! I forgot. A patriot can't have a picture and username be from two different branches of the military. God. Sorry. If it ******* bothers you that much, I'll change it asswipes.

ugottaluvme 0

You play to much minecraft buddy.

seraph510 0

There must be some kinda of relationship between shoes and breaking/fights lol

minecraft_fml 4

Pour canola oil all over her and have HOT sex!

Y'all say do this but u don't no what she would do if she got mad enough

Are you my friend's dog? He steals all their left shoes.

You deserve it for incurring a woman's deadly wrath *muffled laughter*

Getting hot grease on you = 3rd degree burns. Womans wrath, more like domestic abuse to me...

Fitting revenge for throwing solidified Salmonella. AND WHAT IF SHE WAS JEWISH, DAMMIT? THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

I get the joke but, under THE LAW, it's not since she implicted physical harm (again, 3rd degree burns) against someone (op), plus any other reason, like your "salmonella or jewish" defense isn't valid. A punch or equal prank would be nice but throwing hot cooking grease is crossing over the line. Just saying...

I gotta agree with a-teen here that's just more than messed up. Seems like she might have some anger issues.

Maybe a tad bit overreacted from her side, but you had that coming. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Isn't that what they say? ;)

A tad? Hot grease. Thrown on him. Bitch is crazy.

Are you stupid? That saying doesn't apply to this FML at all, nor was it funny. His idea of a joke was dumb but to retaliate in such a harsh manner is ludicrous. That would be like you giving a love tap to someone and they turn around and smash you repeatedly with a hammer... That woman is a crazy bitch.

I'm sorry... You kinda missed the sarcasm dripping off my comment, didya? ;)

MattRoseen 12

No...they didn't. You just missed the point that the crazy bitch probably put him in the hospital or damn near for nothing.

bamagrl410 31

Such a cliche response, but so appropriate in this situation. Well done lol

cyK0tek 0

2nd degree burn to be more exact!

What kind of "typical chick" throws hot grease at someone?

14 - what kind of typical chick wont overreact in such a way.

bizarre_ftw 21

6 (As a follow up to 14) where do you live that that is a typical chick?!

Its probably advisable for your safely to hang out with some different chicks then bro.

hawaiianfire 0

Haha but you chicks haven't been hit by a raw pork chop yet. So how do you know how you'd react?

bamagrl410 31

Being hit with food is no reason to pour grease on someone and cause severe burns. Honestly, I'm pretty sure acts like that can be considered punishable by law if it causes enough damage... Anyways, the point is she's kinda nuts.

lostintime94 5

Are you kidding me? He totally deserved that...

cyK0tek 0

^K. Then the next time I'm done cookin' a burger or somethin' and you piss me off, I'll throw that grease on you! Possibly in your face and I'll say you TOTALLY deserved it. She WAYY fu*kin' overreacted..

cyK0tek 0

Where was I? Oh yeah. **continues "persuasion of target, throws hot grease** YOU'VE GOT TILL 5 O'CLOCK, YOU HEAR ME!?! YOU'VE GOT TILL 5 O'CLOCK! Now go clean yourself up...

I think she overreacted. I mean, when is getting slapped by a raw porkchop not funny?

Getting hit in the face with a bloody hunk of dead pig? Yea, that's HILARIOUS! -.-

Epsilonyx 15

"Pork on my skin? HOW ABOUT BLAZING GREASE ON YOURS, BITCH" yeah, overreaction.

1) Dont slap your girlfroend with raw meat. 2) You have to leave her. If she is willing to throw hot cooking grease at you, then now you know she has malevolent and possibly sadistic tendencies. Leave her, now...

1) Dont slap your girlfriend with raw meat. (tee-hee) 2) You have to leave her. If she is willing to throw hot cooking grease at you, then now you know she has malevolent and possibly sadistic tendencies. Leave her, now...

Dirty joke, not a horny moment. sorry I mislead you...

MattRoseen 12

You're exactly right. How you don't have more thumbs up perplexes me.