Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
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Top comments
peete182 0
Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on
leftyy 0
then there would be nothing LEFT
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Comments (180)
dr_horrible_ 10
Really? Hot grease because of a pork chop? Can she take a joke? Ever?
bizarre_ftw 22
Yours was a jackass move but that is like starting a nuclear war over killing a social worker (to put it in a grand scale)
Leota_fml 5
You DO NOT deserve that! Not even a little bit.
phantom55_fml 7
SIZZLING! ! u bet she dont conplaon when you slap her with tube steak
phantom55_fml 7
SIZZLING!! I bet she doesnt complain when you slap her with tube steak....
truehitman2010 0
how is this an fml? you can now sue her for everything!!!
joee182 3
Thats to ****** up on her part all he did was slap her that doesnt mean she shoulda thrown hot grease on him she needs help.
emagurl 6
Hope you learned your lesson haha sucks for you
THE_A_TEEN 28
Harsh, that leaves permanent scars, and a trip to the ER. Insensitive ass...
Driveshaft 5
Both things decidedly unfunny. FYL cuz she went overboard, and YDI for starting it.
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
You should have slapped her ass with it. Her retaliation might have been less harsh, and maybe even quite nice, depending on her mood.