By god - 29/04/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Livingston

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 310
You deserved it 5 545

Same thing different taste

Top comments

At least you didn't find out he was cheating on you.

At least he kept a good grip on the situation.


At least you didn't find out he was cheating on you.

He rather nut in his pants at a restaurant than wait till after dinner and celebrate with you...That's a definite problem!

gjikvtj 18

29: I wanted to be a bit more subtle :p

#1 Why make a pointless comparison? 'Your husband's an immature asshole, but you should be happy he's not more of an asshole.' That's bullshit, and completely dismissive of her problem.

groovycrazyjoe 18

@ 13 he probably was thinking about later. that's why he jerked off,so he can last longer .

cryssycakesx3 22

I thought #46 made a good point. not sure why the thumbs downs.

#97 Apparently they agree that she should be grateful that her jerk off husband isn't a cheater.

actually , he cheated on her with his hand

At least he kept a good grip on the situation.

EphMi 5

its probably a commemoration of what he did on his first date with you. Happy Anniversary!

Giggity GIggity Goo if you know what I mean

I hope there was a LOT of wine involved...

cryssycakesx3 22
lexiieeex3 32
incoherentrmblr 21

...that he ****** off in public...

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No sex life could suck enough for him to need to jerk off in public, under a restaurant table.

Maybe she just looked really hot and he couldn't wait until after dinner

No lack of spice in the bedroom could lead to a reaction quite that ****** up.

cryssycakesx3 22

or just a public/exhibition fetish. o think it's sexy. I like touching/being touched in public when it seems like no one's looking. nothing "disgraceful" about it.

#99 - there is nothing sexy about being touched in public in places that should be kept private. as you said, seems like there is noone looking. you dont know who could be seeing that. for all you know, you've just made a little kid endure that. intimate touching = keep it private. the public doesnt want to see it.

Maybe he was getting his first nut out of the way to give you a longer "after anniversary" party.

That is absolutely disgusting but for both of your sakes, just be glad that he didn't get caught

cryssycakesx3 22

you must never have experienced the thrill of a little public action.

chriisteex 10

You need to realize that not everyone is as pro-sex as you. Yes, being intimate in public is thrilling and exciting FOR YOU but have some common courtesy. Nobody wants to see a stranger wanking off under a dining table when they're trying to eat their food.

It wasn't *just* the wine that went to his head. ;)