Animals: Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into...

By Whateversz - 24/07/2010 19:59 - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 042

You deserved it 3 733

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 2 513

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 023

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 123

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 766

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 316

You deserved it 7 643

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 871

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 75

Spooked

By chrskr13 - 28/07/2023 12:00 - Denmark - Soborg

Today, I had to sleep on couch cushions on the kitchen floor because í saw a tiny spider crawl under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 777

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

FreshSalad 1

Sunday 25 July 2010 1:25

Spiders are good in Salads... >.>

ArtIsResistance7 1

Sunday 25 July 2010 1:26

YouTube it! You can market it as Spiderman 4: Spidey vs. Wenchosaurus!

Comments

greyy_goooose 11

Sunday 25 July 2010 5:28

hhaaa. that just sucks so much!

auttie_girl 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 5:44

I'd kill him.

NTXC8ED 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 6:48

I wouldve done the same

fuxkit_elizabeth 1

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:25

-Damn yhur boyfriend hella funny; But yeah Fuxxk up at dhu same time

NoelLikesBirds 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 7:57

That sounds like an excellent filming opportunity. As long as you aren't harmed, I'd say that your L is not F'd.

exiie 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 8:44

#4 wrong exile.

nomorehate 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 9:25

awww!! urgggg! gosh that's terrible!! :S

oh_noes_that_suc 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 10:12

Oh my god a spider just crawled over my face this is crazy :o

GamerCon 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 10:16

The irony of this... A spider just crawled onto my iTouch and boy did get that thing good. まやなたなゆにはさいなや

GamerCon 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 10:17

* did I *

Tommy9537 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 10:44

What a jackass

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The Top

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 877

You deserved it 5 658

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 961

You deserved it 12 658

The Top

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 369

You deserved it 8 817

Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 355

You deserved it 1 539

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 3 586

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 9 228

Today, I had to babysit my dying grandmother, so I brought up my guitar. She hadn't said anything to anyone today, and the first thing and only thing she said was, "Stop. Make it stop" to me when I played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 380

Today, after I broke up yet another fight between my sons, I demanded to know why they hate each other and fight all the time. After some blank looks they said, almost in unison, “It is the way” and wouldn’t explain what they meant. Even the internet isn’t being helpful here. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 176