Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Top comments
Nevermind212 11
Thanks god you didn't say your boyfriend
Queensland 27
Dodged a bullet there OP. Better sex once then no more, than him coming back and using you for sex.
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Comments (79)
britneyymorgan 4
I would die lol
then000bster 16
Die and lol don't really go too well together when trying to be serious. Well OP tried and fell. As we all know (; It doesn't matter you had... an experience with someone else and you most likely can pull something away from it to help you be better next time.
Ashamed_Sister 60
#1: You would die means that you think OP has been severely humiliated, and with lol you say that you find happiness in the humiliation of others. That’s really bad.
tanekdrachonae 19
#1 That was awkward. YOU shouldn't do that again.
aliiballybee 9
Settle down its just a phrase, I would die if someone told me that too because it is humiliating and I would also put lol because if laugh if it was done to me... God why does no-one ever see the funny side to life on this page, i thought that was what this page was for? Have a giggle at people's stories? LIGHTEN UP
tjv3 10
Wow sorry OP. hey practice makes perfect though lol and well I'm from Texas too so i think it would be rude for me not to offer free practice lessons LOL just joking;)
Nevermind212 11
Thanks god you didn't say your boyfriend
chanelvander 7
What?
Queensland 27
I think #2 means it's good that OP said 'guy' as opposed to boyfriend. So, they're not dating.
thatnucca 36
Not worth OPs time. Someone deemed worthy wouldn't bolt the way he did and hide behind a cellphone to say what he feels after sharing an intimate moment.
KylieMangion 22
Rude....
Sfaizi24 17
DM;HS
shibeep 12
When is life ever not rude?
Queensland 27
Dodged a bullet there OP. Better sex once then no more, than him coming back and using you for sex.
ihateallofyou1 9
I refuse to like this purely because there is exactly 69 likes.
chanelvander 7
I suppose it's better to know how he feels now, rather than repeating the awkwardness a few more times!
kenoswild 14
Nows the time to go psycho on him and humiliate the jerk.
Awahso 25
How is he a jerk? It could have been awkward for a variety of reasons. At least he didn't just ignore OP or turn into one of those guys who use people just for sex
evilplatypus 39
It IS kind of jerk-ish to text her rather than growing a pair and telling her face-to-face. But going psycho is a bit overkill for something so minor.
Siererrr 13
aw well I hope you guys aren't in like a serious relationship! if so, major FYL.
threer 30
like ikr major fyl if you were in a like serious relationship lolz
Rodville 28
You can do better. Don't worry everyone has bad sex. But it was him being horrible not you.
cliffibom 15
How do you know if op didnt just lie on her back and do nothing?
Caitie_kid 8
Practice makes perfect. Who knows she could be just a shy girl who needs help bringing her inner freak out ;). He won't get to know what he's missing now, and it could be a LOT.
Rodville 28
Isn't that what a girl is suppose to do the first time. But I have been married so long that I just assume its the guys fault. Because my wife hasn't done anything wrong for 19 years.
esines 9
What'd she do wrong 19yrs ago?
thet0taln00b 6
marry him
mfmylifesrsly 30
OP in my opinion don't take it too harshly, my guy friend was just messaging me about a similar experience. Maybe the guy was turned off by some of the things you did, while other guys would find it boner-worthy hot. Everyone has their own preferences as to what is and is not good sex. Such as some guys love getting their back scratched whilst making their partner ******, others find it a turn off. If you don't find it too embarrassing, maybe asked him what made him not enjoy the sex (so you can try to improve in the future if it's worth it)? Cause while what I said could be true, you could also just be a lazy lay where you make the guy do all the work, in which that case I'd say you do need to work on that.
carina_47 16
Sex is about giving and taking - obviously. Even if you put in all the effort, that ist a maximum of 50% you can contribute. The other 50% come from him. When that's not feasible, and if sex is an important part in a relationship for you (I know I couldn't live without), then move on. He was rude for putting it that way. If he didn't enjoy the sex, what he should've done was to communicate what needed improvement, as opposed to attack your dignity. Nobody wants to be that exposed. FYL I feel so bad for you.