Love: Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light...

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 723

You deserved it 32 627

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 6 876

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 986

You deserved it 4 320

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 247

You deserved it 3 394

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 614

You deserved it 35 174

By wtf - 03/05/2014 16:50 - Germany - Ramstein

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 050

You deserved it 5 278

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 436

You deserved it 8 250

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 405

You deserved it 19 716

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 148

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 032

You deserved it 5 237

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 962

You deserved it 276

bexox 0

Friday 27 February 2009 0:01

"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol

GhettoWangstuh 0

Monday 9 February 2009 7:13

omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute

Comments

bonesbaby 0

Monday 1 February 2010 8:30

it's cute -not as cute as everyone is making it out to be though ;) Why is this an FML?

manicrose 3

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:42

"Nor now!" aw, that is SO CUTE XD

buggybeauty 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 6:56

wow, she did a messed up thing!

meekey_fml 18

Wednesday 20 April 2016 22:19

I meant to pick "Don't Like"

victoria4161993 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 0:16

that's funny haha

Clare420 0

Monday 7 June 2010 8:07

i agree that's cute(:

2010_18 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:50

thats funny, your gf sounds awesome

makeworldpeace 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 11:07

that's the cutest thing i've ever heard of anyone do! she's a keeper :)

kykeon22 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 0:50

your girlfriend is a joker XD she owned you from the head to toes :D

Volcan_fml 22

Tuesday 24 August 2010 1:29

Pahaha, that's just funny and adorable.

sparare27 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 13:37

lmaoooo if you pulled the stick out of your ass you would realize how much of an awsome girlfriend you have, :P

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Love Public freakouts Weddings Family AITA Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sexism Kids Work Relatable Mental health Growing old Health Cats Animals Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Ironic Bikes

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 584

You deserved it 16 950

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 592

The Top

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 379

You deserved it 12 094

Today, I had to put my 17 year-old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 208

You deserved it 3 855

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 2 901

Today, my son-in-law's parents were saying it was a shame our kids were so busy working that they have to babysit all day, four days a week. Me and my wife babysit three days a week, which is when we realised our kids have basically tricked us four grandparents into raising their baby all week, including weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 221

Today, I was passed over for the job of my dreams. I now have to watch as a girl I have on Facebook - a total moron - boasts daily about scoring the position instead. Turns out the interviewer was her uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 418

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 130

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

Overbearing girlfriend

Truth

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