Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
bexox 0
"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol
GhettoWangstuh 0
omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute
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Comments (64)
Eiotlrd 0
your gf is cool
Not_steve 0
Its always nice too be seeing someone with an sense of humor
EFF_MY_LIFE_202 0
awwe thats so cute..but i would be concerned that you didnt wake all at all :P
redbluegreen 41
Your girlfriend is incredibly adorable. I'll give her that, but some advice for you, is you don't tell people how you sleep. Even if you're dating them. It saves you from humiliation/awkward situations.
Alexgoesfml 3
Wow I wish I had a girlfriend like that. If you are that annoyed at her and she needs a shoulder to cry on...I'M AVAILABLE. Anyways...she is also intelligent as she actually uses proper grammer.
KumoFF7 3
how is this cute? o.o And #32, how do you know she uses proper grammar?
gemmaFML 0
I really don't see how that's bad.
popoman 0
Maybe he has work the next day. Or he has to go to a public area. Then he would have to wash all of it off. If it were done in a Sharpee, that would be very difficult, especially for writing in hard-to-reach places. Sucks for you. Your girlfriend sounds fun, but a little over-the-top.
Im_cursed 0
the only way this is an FML is if she wrote on you with a sharpie (permanent marker) on your face and you couldnt take it off.. other than that HAHA she proved you wrong!!.. you sleep like a bear!!!
sparkleprincess 0
1) this is the type of stuff i do to my man 2) he hates it !