Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "That's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "Push a little harder" while dissecting a frog. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML
Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML
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Top comments
LemonStarship 5
Haha want some bananas?
jakeisawake 3
You should have flung poo at the teacher as you left the classroom. Now that's imitating a monkey.
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Comments (154)
jjulian2005 0
climb a tree and laugh there
MeganCello 8
#68, I don't either, but I have the option to switch to the original version so I have the reply button. But I prefer mobile. :)
PplMakeMistakes 2
sweet!!!
IWABO2_ 0
Awesome #73
xLil_Mx 0
She probably moved schools you retard(jk)
rencegoh 0
either u laughed like a monkey or u have a monkey face.
r0man_fml 0
fail
metastate 0
Doc, I just wish to tell you that you are truly a bastard and that, contrary to what you've said about good English, the cold hard truth is that no one cares about your superb english, and in fact it is your English that made you more annoying than usual. We don't know your credentials, neither do we know who you are, but one thing we do know that you may be some kid hiding behind the screen with a thesaurus and dictionary, trying really really hard to make sense out of words, loser. If English is your paramount interest, you'd find it more useful being an English teacher instead of scold and pissing everyone off with your lectures. At least you'd have felt your presence being an English teacher in an elementary school.
C19_fml 9
Win.
DocBastard 40
Dammit KaySL, I can fight my own fight. Not that this is a fair fight... Metastate, I'm truly glad I annoy you. You think I chose the name "DocBastard" because I intended to make friends here? I'm here to say whatever the hell pops into my head. Deal with it. Let me assure you that your little tirade hasn't shamed me, nor has it caused me to have an epiphany that I may be bothering some people. I know damn well what I'm doing, and I'm going to continue doing it whether you (and everyone like you) like it or not. Good day.
PointAndLaugh 0
^tl;dr DEAL WITH IT.
metastate 0
Are you going to "catch" me for saying "scold" instead of "scolding"? Well, maybe you should, because I am commenting doing something outside which made me unable to concentrate on my 'tenses', but at least I am doing society a greater justice then you, trying to be a grammar police and pissing everyone off. Get a life, join some book club and share your superb english skills with like-minded literatures enthusiasts. FML is certainly too 'low class' for you. At least in the pseudo form
jakeisawake 3
I'm not trying to piss you off or be a grammar nazi, but you may want to fix the part where you say "... but one thing we do know that you may..." I think you are missing the word "is". I could be completely wrong, but trying to help with that one before he gets you on it.
metastate 0
Jakeisawake, thanks for it. To the others, win.