By Shitty day - United States - Agoura Hills Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 11566 You deserved it 1535 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WTF - United States - Ann Arbor Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML I agree, your life sucks 58410 You deserved it 3868 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hail science! Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom. Apparently, my seeking medicinal treatments for my cancer is blasphemous. According to her, I should just pray my cancer away. FML I agree, your life sucks 2431 You deserved it 97 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By annonymous - China Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 70397 You deserved it 9817 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Goki - Canada Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML I agree, your life sucks 12971 You deserved it 60443 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By junior07 Today, I gave my niece a $100 bill instead of a $10 so she could buy ice cream. When I realized my mistake, she never returned it but thanked me and gave me a big hug. Now I don't have money for gas or food all week. FML I agree, your life sucks 3536 You deserved it 1929 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By swip Today, my previously blond boyfriend dyed his hair dark brown and shaved his beard. When he got home, I thought he was an intruder and screamed. Now he thinks I don't love him because I didn't recognize him. FML I agree, your life sucks 3817 You deserved it 607 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GamingWolfy5 Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 2734 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sickened - United Kingdom - Gateshead Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML I agree, your life sucks 39757 You deserved it 8277 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FFS - Cyprus - Limassol Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML I agree, your life sucks 28115 You deserved it 2892 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Isabell - Australia Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML I agree, your life sucks 23586 You deserved it 5825 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zodiacfall Precision strike Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML I agree, your life sucks 1503 You deserved it 218 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/6/2020 02:03 Jaws 2: A Pig in the City Today, after a childhood of battling bad teeth and cavities, I'm an overzealous brusher. I found out that I have cavities in all quadrants of my mouth from over-brushing, which will need multiple appointments to fill. FML I agree, your life sucks 1346 You deserved it 201 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "leahkasscar" Today, I'm stuck in a car with my sister who is currently having a screaming match with her boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 1852 You deserved it 132 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - New Hyde Park Today, my younger brother, who still lives in our parents' basement and has never held a job in his life, announced that his girlfriend is pregnant with their third child. I'm a college graduate living on my own and I've never even had sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 5641 You deserved it 752 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Maldives - Male Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML I agree, your life sucks 27500 You deserved it 1705 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML I agree, your life sucks 14430 You deserved it 964 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noosher0990 Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 20782 You deserved it 2745 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NUsConstantine - United States Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML I agree, your life sucks 45682 You deserved it 2648 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nannynomore - United States Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML I agree, your life sucks 63174 You deserved it 3089 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML I agree, your life sucks 4097 You deserved it 737 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NikkiiFireStarter - United Kingdom Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML I agree, your life sucks 42005 You deserved it 2911 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alainopotato - United States - San Diego Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered in both mine and someone else's puke. Happy New Year. FML I agree, your life sucks 4396 You deserved it 5288 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By missbutthole - United States Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML I agree, your life sucks 34592 You deserved it 3864 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml - United States Today, after 3 years at my job I received a 14% raise. I was informed I will be transitioned from hourly to salary. I will now be making $1500 LESS than I made last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 38559 You deserved it 3344 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi-driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML I agree, your life sucks 21557 You deserved it 2437 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31020 You deserved it 18008 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By husbands addiction - United States - San Francisco Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML I agree, your life sucks 45453 You deserved it 4386 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML I agree, your life sucks 37685 You deserved it 14298 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anna Great, some ice cream! Today, after three years of working at my current occupation, they decided to give me a bonus for all of my hard work and effort. A 5$ gift card to Cold Stone. FML I agree, your life sucks 1556 You deserved it 184 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML I agree, your life sucks 30916 You deserved it 3480 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ps3isbetterthanme - United Kingdom Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML I agree, your life sucks 25766 You deserved it 4282 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By charlieweaver21 - France Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 30986 You deserved it 6109 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KaD Today, I lost my dream job after a week, after being told, "When I hired you, I wasn't honest. I wasn't looking to hire an examiner, I wanted someone to replace me so I can retire in a year. I don't have time to train you for that." FML I agree, your life sucks 4388 You deserved it 262 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Relevance - United States Today, my husband fell for an online scam leaving us 1450.00 in the negative. We get paid tomorrow and most of our money is going to cover that debt. FML I agree, your life sucks 35001 You deserved it 7778 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - United Kingdom Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML I agree, your life sucks 13035 You deserved it 32181 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML I agree, your life sucks 15262 You deserved it 52061 254 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tickle spunk - United States Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML I agree, your life sucks 28820 You deserved it 3040 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jenbearish Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML I agree, your life sucks 15727 You deserved it 1055 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By a - Korea Republic of Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 43497 You deserved it 2877 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - United States Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML I agree, your life sucks 47542 You deserved it 3557 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aedar | 16 #6613886 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:56 I have to ask, was it one of the kids or one of the monkeys? Send a private message 211 2 Reply
By ssnow_fml | 20 #6613885 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:56 Hey, sometimes humans fling their poo too. Send a private message 70 0 Reply
By shiba10 | 26 #6613881 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:51 Apparently the monkey's have a sense of humour too haha unlucky op Send a private message 13 5 Reply
By BitterAlmond | 8 #6613882 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:51 I can't tell if if was one of the monkeys or one of the kids who did the poo flinging. Send a private message 29 3 Reply
Reply socialproduct | 19 #6614075 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 0:04 Haha. It is a little ambiguous. If it was a kid it makes the FML much worse. Send a private message 5 1 Reply
By Chloe555_fml | 27 #6613883 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:52 Was a pretty smart monkey. Send a private message 6 5 Reply
By ragnarok1540 | 39 #6613884 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:53 Throw your poo back at that kid ... hopefully the monkeys don't get any ideas to imitate the kid. After all, "monkey see, monkey do!" Send a private message 29 3 Reply
Reply socialproduct | 19 #6614076 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 0:06 **monkey see monkey poo Send a private message 12 0 Reply
By ssnow_fml | 20 #6613885 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:56 Hey, sometimes humans fling their poo too. Send a private message 70 0 Reply
Reply will968 | 15 #6614090 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 0:19 Hence the invention of "shit flickers" Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By aedar | 16 #6613886 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 16:56 I have to ask, was it one of the kids or one of the monkeys? Send a private message 211 2 Reply
Reply Allornone | 35 #6614230 - Wednesday 25 May 2016 4:34 same difference. Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By extremereviews | 26 #6613897 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 17:13 It's the monkeys way of asserting dominance Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By jamieblue6 | 16 #6613900 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 17:16 Well, flinging poo isn't exactly a sign of unintelligence... Send a private message 12 0 Reply
By mysteryland | 17 #6613903 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 17:27 yes, they are intelligent. And full of shit. Send a private message 9 0 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 57 You deserved it 17 0 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 693 You deserved it 154 7 Comments