Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "That's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "Push a little harder" while dissecting a frog. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML
Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML
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Top comments
LemonStarship 5
Haha want some bananas?
jakeisawake 3
You should have flung poo at the teacher as you left the classroom. Now that's imitating a monkey.
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Comments (154)
gigilvrs6 0
You could have looked like you were "monkeying" around.
Bryan19 0
lol
MustangGirL 0
If you wanted a banana..all you had to do was ask.
zp5 4
hahahahaOO-AH-AH! *start scratching your armpits and eating a banana*
stephanie911_fml 0
Hahaha, I do that all the time: D
warpig182 0
Because shes very hairy also.
sweet_candy_ 17
Lmao that sucks.
IWABO2_ 0
Ironically, i've gotten in 3 arguments with people about me not having a reply button on my phone, and people thinking there smart and saying that there is a reply button but there isn't, but im not saying anything bad about you #23( no sarcasm).
IcyJack 7
No. That just isn't right.
DocBastard 40
Has anyone gotten into an argument with you about "there" versus "they're?"
Glenn_Coco 0
^ Win :D
1personinthiswor 0
iWAB02 - See the gray arrow next to every comment? Mmhmm. That's the reply. JUST KIDDING, all of FML had a secret meeting, and we agreed that we would all try to trick you into thinking there's a reply button. Sorry guys, iWAB figured us out. No pullin anything over on you, man!
zach5432 3
hey doc. with comments like urs I wish fml made a nobody cares button
DocBastard 40
Poor zach. Poor, poor zach. You think just because you're 15 I'm going to go easy on you? First, try capitalization. It's fun and easy. Second, try spelling out whole words. You aren't txt messaging ur buds, so it's perfectly acceptable, nay, preferable to spell out "yours" completely. Third, there are innumerable (that means "lots of") people here who care enough to respect the god damned English language. If you don't care to read my comments, then move on, son. There are plenty of "lol u fail" comments that I'm sure you'll find much more agreeable.
ThePaperDragon 31
I LOVE you Doc!
disco2466 8
text* try spelling out your words before you tell others to.
zombiekitten87 12
I think he was making a point... *sigh
green_eyes124 0
Wow disco, you really are dumb. But, that's ok, watching Doc demolish and humiliate people like you is what makes this site fun : )
zach5432 3
still doc. you should loosen up this is fml not an English exam. so instead of being that annoying grammar Nazi. why don't you have some funny comments? if not stfu
zach5432 3
aha if you dumbasses think I actually get embarrassed by the English Language over the Internet... you need to go find a hobbie
really231001 0
disco- it was obviously a spelling mistake. As for Doc, Docs comments are perfectly fine and I enjoy reading them. So if you have a problem with Docs comments why are you reading them to begin with? Is your life that pathetic that you have to read something you don't like. Wow.
xcrystal011 2
hahaha how sad
Xavi89 0
hahahahahahahaha
jakeisawake 3
You should have flung poo at the teacher as you left the classroom. Now that's imitating a monkey.
serinidia 0
haha, that would be epic!
ItsJustMak 0
HAHAHA
IWABO2_ 0
No its too stupid to have an argument about # 33.
InDenial 6
PLEASE just stop commenting.