Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
Danielt104 6
I feel the same way, and that's why I don't even talk to girls. I guess hitting the gym would help, but it's going to be at least two years before I don't feel like a joke anymore.
nolanj21 6
Act gay and then you watch then in the locker rooms. Lol
auro7 18
And what's wrong with playing football?
buckdharma 38
Tell all your friends that you had flings result from all of them. Technically you won't be lying.
Liamc620 10
look at the bright side man, your getting some contact with them! and mabye they'l think its cute, you never know.
bahklava 8
If he's the scrawny one on the cheerleading team, then imagine him playing football...
JokersHQ 21
I mean yeah that's kinda suckish f you feel emasculated but it's rare for a man to be a flyer so you should still think it's pretty awesome. And don't feel to macho-ed out by the girls, my fiancé was a male cheerleader as well but her was a lot taller than most of the girls so he was t a flyer, it's not the end of the world
Zebediabolical 45
We call him the kicker.
skyeyez9 25
Only the smallest person is the "flier" who gets thrown into the air. How much does OP weight? I am thinking he no more than 120lbs.
teseract45 5
Dude. If I were you I would lift weights