Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
lemurman108 24
YDI for being a straight male cheerleader.
worldclassrager 41
That would be a sight to see...hope it all goes well...
beaverteaser 16
why not lol
sammyjo06 14
Wow. You sound really tiny and weak. Fliers are usually not much over 100 lbs. Do you have any muscle mass at all? And you say this was an "attempt" to flirt, lol. What were you expecting? Also, I have a hard time believing this one because guys are just not fliers. Not even if they're that tiny. Especially one who is just starting out. Fliers often have to be tossed into the air and do flips and leg movements before they're caught, and I've literally never seen a guy doing that.
loganberrybat 11
Kind of serves yourself right for only joining the team to flirt. And for being slightly chauvinistic in assuming all girls will be weaker than you. Me thinks you need to grow up a little bit before you get involved with an actual girl.
happyfingers 15
Well that's what you get for joining just to impress the cheerleaders. If it wasn't something you were actually interested in you shouldn't have done it. YDI :P
pwnman 33
Cheer up, OP. Quit if you want to!
Xotoolyxo 16
Hit the gym
sarah2144 14
That's why they join the squad in the movie Fired Up too. Except they're at least strong enough to throw the girls. Why would you join a sport you're not even good at just to talk to girls? YDI
Dawnstempest 17
@70 Well we call him the ball.