Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Yeah...I don't think that's the best way to flirt. I guarantee all the girls on the squad think you're gay for even attempting to join the squad. Nothing against gays, of course, but that's the stereotypes. I've never known a male cheerleader in real life (well, one, and he misspelled our town's name), so I don't know for sure, but still. And if you weigh less than the girls (which in itself is weird), that's even more of a reason for them to not flirt back if you still attempt to woo them. If you joined the squad just to flirt with the girls, well, you kind of deserve it in my book. But it does suck that you're the one that will be thrown into the air by girls. Stick the landing!
jh921971 10
Should have joined the band ;)
Pajakarino 11
You better kick ass at comp, you hear me?? Having boys on the team impresses the judges, and the fact that you're flying is even better. Best get stretching so you can pull a heelstretch with ease, because that's the next step for you.
way2go 16
At my school, guys weren't even allowed to be the one in the air. I don't think this is real
erichsalvesen 13
I dig male cheerleaders! Hot my up! ;)
brandoneyez1 25
Think American Pie.. What would stiffler do?
mercrover 10
Maybe one of then will accidentally touch your junk
JKROB 16
do you even lift?
ohmyitsautumn 5
Try some pick up lines. Like when they cradle you after a stunt wink at one of your bases and say something like "thanks for catching me, I've been falling pretty hard"
ericm87 3
Lesson learned should b tryin to impress girls if u can't do the deed
pazuzus_intern 10
What?