Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
buttcramp 21
if it's your first day then no worries! you'll get stronger! you still might get a few phone numbers, ya never know. I'm not saying this doesn't suck lol I'm just saying it may not be as bad as you think.
that_band_nerd 22
Well now you can work your way to head cheerleader and rule the school!
Philintheblankz 14
Just join a home ec class if you want to flirt.
noobsatin 19
weight room anyone?
Rallred32 20
Yes, I believe you must be ripped, noobsatin
noobsatin 19
well, I don't want to brag or anything.
perdix 31
You're getting girls to touch you. Maybe someday, you'll get that first kiss. Ya gotta start somewhere!
Ihavegas 22
bro do you even lift?
cyttex 13
Bro do you even say overused phrases.
Rallred32 20
Bro do you even know how to use a joke
perdix 31
It's just a matter of time until one of the girls "accidentally" grabs your junk. And then all of the embarrassment will be so worth it!
little_one1 14
That might just cause more embarassment! Because, y'know... they'd be all up on him "accidentally" grabbin' his junk n' junk. That unvoluntarily calls for a boner!
MortenM 17
It's only worth it until she forgets to release his junk when throwing him
JOEBOBARNOLD 15
Wouldnt that hurt...
Farmillionaire 8
bro do you even cheer?
MaryPoppins88 14
You have officially been friend zoned lol
pazuzus_intern 10
No
harshallmeim69 9
you keep using that word I don't think you know what it means
EmmaMK 35
Stick at it and you may get a sympathy kiss.