Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
tj4234 36
OP you do realise that cheerleading is a very physically demanding sport? Of course they are going to be very strong. But keep at it and you will be as well. look up the world cheerleading championships on youtube.
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
I don't get how the OP deserved it...?
awesomeamandas 37
He deserved it (in my opinion) because how he worded the fml he only joined the sport to flirt with girls
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
Do people really care that much? A bit self-righteous IMO.
WellThatSucked89 13
Its not self righteous, its FML. Just like you said (IMO) we have opinions too.
squideth 18
He also deserves it because he made a sexist assumption that he would automatically be stronger than the girls because of his penis and is all whiny because the cheerleaders aren't weak like he expected.
oneofthosegirls_fml 11
You're a flyer!
EvilLittleMan 23
You are getting tossed into the air as well as your man card but it flies away.
Ellisonjulian 4
I was a male cheerleader for 5 seasons, basketball and football, in high school. If you're just doing it to flirt, you'll never make it. The very fact they let you on the squad is amazing to me. A man's role on the squad is to make it possible to do stunts they couldn't already do. A woman's job is to look pretty, fly, be involved with the crowd, etc. The guys should be in the background.
Aleys_fml 21
I dont see any stunt that the girls cannot do on their own and would need a guy for. My cheer squad is made up of only girls and we can do a lot of stunts.
I_Like_Dogs 28
"I'm not sexist but..."
sickerthanyou 13
I think you are the one flying while they catch you because you are lighter than any of them, which itself is weird, a male has a heavier frame than a girl so I think all your cheer mates are fat or big, or you are just very very thin.
speckledots 29
Or you know, because muscle weighs more than fat. So a 130lb girl of muscle would be pretty hard for a 170lb out of shape man to lift.
j_729 18
130 pounds is 130 pounds. A 130 pound girl with muscle is no different than a 130 pound girl with no muscle.
sammyjanette 17
130 lbs of muscle weighs exactly the same as 130 lbs of fat... 111, beat me to it.
Lexisaurus 6
Men are Actually suppose to be smaller then women,aka weigh less, for the fact women are suppose to have meat on they're bones for childbearing. So it's ok for him to be light, I play waterpolo and most girls in the sport are bigger and/or thicker then the guys
NodakN8V 25
Definitely born without a man card
harshallmeim69 9
Excuse me what the **** is a man card?
Curlytwirly22 17
It's okay you know in some ways that can be taken as a win...just think on the bright side :D
cypherwars 15
Fired Up!! The Movie!
bandeek 30
How do you spell fired up?!?
themecmaster 1
omfggg