Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
ctchan2381 5
you bring Embarrassment to another level
BAD2891 4
A bunch of Cheerleaders with their hands all over you? Doesn't sound too bad to me bro.
harshallmeim69 9
"hey look there's a man on the cheer squad" "HE'S DIFFERENT, LETS GET HIM" I assume this is all you have to look forward too.
142_cats 13
This is your fault completely. You joined team just to flirt with girls and got upset when they were stronger than you. Have fun getting beat up for being a male cheerleader.
Slimma 20
You joined in an effort to flirt. Disgraceful. They put a lot into what they do. They train and everything for this and you are only in it to flirt? You completely deserve it.
VampOfSavannah 31
Of course they're stronger than you. Surely a lot of those girls have done cheerleading for years. It's not an easy thing to do- Cheerleading requires a lot of skill. They have to be strong in order to do all that they do.
Dave_Davington 35
What the **** did you expect? That you'd be stronger than them just because you have a knob and bollocks and they don't? It doesn't work that way. You've just started, and (I'm guessing) have never lifted someone over your head before, much less thrown them into the air. Those girls, on the other hand, have been doing exactly that before you signed up, some of them probably for years. If you honestly thought you'd automatically be stronger than them just for being male, well, you've got a hell of a lot of growing up to do.
cmac86 24
despite the embarrassment, it sounds fun. but I've gotta know if you're using east German "women"
rigpig7648 0
Go to your local gym find the biggest muscle bound dude in there and buy a cycle of test, problem solved you'll be a man in no time
davincidasecond 24
Well, what do you expect? Cheerleading is a very demanding sport and requires loads of strength, so of course the girls will be stronger than you. That's usually the case when a woman works out regularly and a man doesn't. Stick around and that may change. And honestly, YDI.