Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym. A very attractive girl was watching me work out, so feeling like a stud, I tried to lift a really heavy weight. I failed, got trapped, and watched helplessly as she walked away laughing. FML
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
Today, at gym class, coach placed the boys on an "advanced level" rope climb by having a girl cling on their back. I got paired with my crush. As he climbed, we were trailing behind so I cheered for him to go faster. He loudly responded, "Why don't you go on a diet!?" FML
Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, during gymnastics tryouts, I tried one last move to impress the judge, jumped up but landed crotch first on the beam. I fell off, curled up in pain while everyone just stayed frozen, still waiting on the judge's pick. She barely glanced at me then picked the girl next to me, who ran off happy. FML
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Top comments
upallnight11 19
Nah, just give me the D
singer0421 32
I'm pretty sure the only reason you're upset about this is because now you can't look up a girl's panties as she's getting lifted by you.
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Comments (188)
mxij 13
Nice basket toss
FrankHotpants 31
I bet you didn't see that coming. That's definitely a hard hit to the olde pride and a swift kick to the dignity.
codyswearingen 3
Pussy. Vote me down all you want but y'all know it's true deep down
FaygoAndMiracles 18
While I don't think they should have been cheering just for the sake of flirting with girls, it's really sexist to try to say that just because someone identifies as a guy, or has the junk that gets you declared as male at birth, just because of those little things, someone can't be a cheerleader. Really, it's disgusting, that something you can't even control, could have such a big effect on your life.
lexinicole2015 1
lmao cx I was a female cheerleader and all the guys were throwing me cx I bet I can throw you then cx
nstonez 6
Haha, I've been a male cheerleader for 2 years, and I think I've only put a guy in the air 3 times
madriver10 4
their hands are all over you, you win
Kels4588 6
you were probably only using your arms (most new guys do that). the girls use their legs and proper technique so it is much easier. that can take years to learn. if you're going to be flying you should wear a cup. I'm serious.
Pinkfun69 4
Oouch
Tobamf 18
That sounds like fun, and let's not forget that the view on the way down after being tossed is going to be phenomenal.
Muttley9 13
Underestimating women is a fools game, you want really in with them? Tell them how impressed you are with them as people, their skill, anything else that just blows you away about them... just be honest :)