Miscellaneous: Today, I won a meal for two in a raffle. I had no one to go with....

I can just picture op's cat sitting in the chair across to her with a napkin on his lap while he licks some tuna off a super fancy plate in a super fancy restaurant as everyone else stares incredulously.

zaidthunder1 27

Thursday 26 November 2015 11:31

Start by asking your friends!

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The Top

Aujourd'hui, étant transgenre, je cherche des idées de nouveau prénom pour moi-même. Je montre mes trois premières idées à mon groupe de potes, tout content car j'aime déjà beaucoup ces prénoms. Leur première réaction ? Ils ont explosé de rire. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 2 855

You deserved it 41 375

Aujourd'hui, notre prof de maths n'a pas réussi à contenir un pet "mitraillette" alors qu'elle écrivait au tableau. Après un grand silence gêné, elle a sorti un paquet de feuilles. "Comme, de toute façon, ça sera dit et répété, interro surprise." VDM

I agree, your life sucks 77 252

You deserved it 6 007

The Top

Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 3 647

Today, my coworker has Covid symptoms but refuses to get tested. I told her she should get tested but she refused. I told our boss she has symptoms, so then he told her to get tested and now she’s giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 348

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 736

You deserved it 15 849

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 346

You deserved it 1 855

Today, I took my car into the mechanic to have two tires and battery put in, all new. I later got a call saying they tried to start my car on the dead battery, which sparked and started a fire. It's gonna take two weeks to get the parts and it's minus 30 outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 922

You deserved it 526

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 113

You deserved it 121 278