Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
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Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
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Comments (138)
Koroush47 0
You should perform a cup check on his head with a baseball bat and see if it's so funny.
mrcarmine 0
YDI i might have played one game in 13 years without a cup. maybe. or it might have been a practice... if even.
a_z12 0
funny
ditlihi 0
Your nuts have shrunk. r-i-g-h-t. You ruined this entry with making shit up.
pinkygirl_fml 0
#13 NOT FUNNY
Hgm09 0
#19 lol.
hans12 0
dudes, why is everyone saying he should have been wearing a cup? HE WASN'T PLAYING. He says "I was actually watching the game". Idk about y'all but I don't feel the need to wear a cup to go watch a baseball or shinguards to watch soccer or something.
CeSbAlLa4lYfe 0
the post said one of his teammates, meaning he was on the team. they were playing. I'm thinking he means he was watching the game, not holding off...
CeSbAlLa4lYfe 0
goofing*
mememememe 0
#37 if he wasnt playing why did his teammate have a bat? he was probably in the dugout watching his own game and i doubt hed remove his cup everytime he comes off the field
yourpathetic 0
You better knock his shit out of the park with that LOL
Misanthropist 0
This is why you don't join an organized sports team. These are the only things that end up happening to people... Aside from getting hazed in the locker room, slapped on the ass during the intimate group showers, or otherwise harassed by "teammates". If you dont want to wear a cup thats your choice, either way you should have to worry about the other team and not your own.